For me your post has been very educational. I'm hoping with the riding lessons I take that I'll be taught how to get the behavior I want from my horse and how to correct it with out anger.
For example if you watch Cesar Milan (The Dog Whisperer) he will some times take his hand with his fingers spread and grasp the dog. It does not hurt the dog but stimulates a bite. The dog understands that language and Cesar is not doing it out of personal frustration or anger but to teach the dog.
I've been using his techniques with my own dogs learning to read their body language and using my body as a tool to train them. I'm really hoping with Natural Horsemanship that it will look the same way. I don't want to hurt or scare my horse when I get one. I want a relationship based on trust.
I think this is a very philosophical debate about discipline and I can see everyone side. And I get the feeling that in this thread everyone is crazy in love with their horse.