Okay, here's the thing. He is NOT your best friend. He is a horse, and should be treated like a horse.
You obviously do not have the time to give him what he needs, and probably won't for quite some time.
This horse is unruley, disrespectful and a danger to not only you, but everyone he comes into contact with. This is the type of horse that needs attention daily, to be worked with daily. This is the type of horse that'll take a mile if you give him an inch. He needs consistency. You aren't giving that to him. You can't just expect him to be this great horse when you haven't done anything with him in months besides throw a roundbale to him and check his water a few times a week.
Even spending 30 minutes grooming him will end up being a training session and make him more mindful of you and his manners.
If you are scared of him, sell him.
If you can't provide training for him, sell him.
If you can't commmit to daily work with him, sell him.
If you can't find someone to work with you, sell him.
If you can't give him what he so desperately needs, sell him.
This post may sound harsh, but it's the truth. He is not getting what he needs from you. You really need to sit down and think if you can provide for him the way he should be provided for. Put the selfish feelings of undying love aside and do what's right by this horse. Right now, you are not doing him any favors and your actually creating a problem horse. He's only going to get worse and worse as time goes on. It'll be hard enough to rehome him with how he is right now, but think of how much worse it'll be after he seriously injures you. You won't be able to give him away.
"The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with
him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."