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i need advice

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        12-28-2011, 11:47 PM
      #1
    Yearling
    i need advice

    So I give my horse treats after I work him, but he's gotten to a point where he's a become a disaster to work with. My mum gives him carrots when I dissapear during when I'm working with him, and I know she does because I've seen her and the way he becomes so hyped and naughty and excited all of a sudden is obvious. Its really frustrating me, a week or so ago, he did something naughty, I raised my voice and gave him a thump and he backed off and immediately stopped it, which is to be expected. The all of a sudden my mum walks over and started rubbing his face and saying he didnt deserve it and I should be less hard. He is a 16.1hh thoroughbred that is only 6 years old and tests people out, I can't afford to be 'nice and let him get away with anything'. All the horses I've ever worked with they've never been allowed any leverage when being naughty but now that my mums gotten involved I see that I'm losing all my respect from him. I used to be able to walk him to the paddock, then when his halter is off, slip him a carrot, give him a rub and walk off but now when I finish working wth him and turn him towards the paddock, my mum grabs the bag of carrots(ruffling the bag) and he acts up all the way to the paddock, he swings around towards my mum, he tries to stop and then I get up him and my mum comes over closer and then my horse is fully focused on her. Its hard, I try and get my mum to move and she gets mad at me, I tell her to leave the bag, she refuses to. And now, by the time I get him to the paddock and in it, he wont stand still while I take the halter off and just takes off towards the paddock fence where my mum is with the bag of carrots. I'm honestly at my wits end, I've lost nearly all my control on the ground, my mother wont listen to me, just says its not her fault and he's just a naughty horse and i've been trying to talk my parents into aggisting him at my riding club so that she would be around him far less, and it would be me and horse experienced people who would be handling him but at the moment my mum says 'hes fine here, I can bring you up all the time.'
    I'm honestly so stressed by all this I just don't know what to do, I've considered selling him before he gets fully ruined, I've tried to talk to my mum, I've tried only seeing him by myself (which has been good as he has his full respect back to me) but honestly I just don't know, so can someone please give me some advice. I've never had a horse that has never had respect for me so right now I'm completely out of my depth. We do so well together, but its just become so hard and I don't know how to gain back his focus on me when she's around.
         
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        12-28-2011, 11:55 PM
      #2
    Trained
    No, treats are for nice horses, when they become demanding brats, they don't get any. That's it, cut him off. Had to do that to my horse when he was 3 or 4 year old, he finally deserved to get treats again when he was about 9 and he's minded his manners ever since.
    Tayz and sierrams1123 like this.
         
        12-29-2011, 12:04 AM
      #3
    Yearling
    I did cut him off but then mum pushd me into it again, sayin he deserved them made me feel bad. But will defiently do that to begin with.
         
        12-29-2011, 12:04 AM
      #4
    Super Moderator
    Your mom may eventually be endangering your safety. Does she realize this? Give the horse to her, then and let her ride and deal with the spoiled beastie.
    mvinotime and waresbear like this.
         
        12-29-2011, 12:17 AM
      #5
    Yearling
    Shes terrified of horses, knows nothing about them and she's creating problems for me. I've yelle at her many times to move away from him, don't do this, don't do that but because she's my mother its hard to get pushy with her. Muss needed spray on all his cuts the other day on his chest and I asked her to hold him, showed her what to do if he moved, how to act, how to be bossy etc and I went to try and put spray on, he moved like I knew he would and she just let him. I ended up just having to hindquarter him in circles until he finally allowed me to spray them and it took even longer because she let him get away with it to begin with. Now I try and get my dad to come out with me as he actually isnt afraid to get up my horse and knows what he's doing
         
        12-29-2011, 12:22 AM
      #6
    Trained
    Ok print this out for her, we are telling your mom not to give that brat anymore treats lest she ruins the horse. I am a 51 yr old woman with many years of experience dealing with equines. Tiny is much younger than me but with no less experience, she is saying the same thing. Print this out & make her read it.
    Tayz likes this.
         
        12-29-2011, 12:27 AM
      #7
    Yearling
    I understand how frustrating it can be, having people mess with your horses and cause problems-- especially when it's your mom, haha. But you have to remember: it shouldn't matter what your mom does. As long as you're the one riding him, as long as you're the one holding his lead rope, he should NOT be ignoring YOU to pay attention to the carrots or your mom or ANYTHING else. This is the bottom line, and he needs to know this. YOU are the focus of his attention, solely. The fact that he so easily ignores you shows that he didn't have enough respect for you.
    Try walking him with you so that your mom can't get in there after you reprimand him- it may make things difficult for you, but it's better than leaving him there at your mom's mercy...
    And if he tries to yank away from you when you get to the pasture, whatever you do, DON'T let him go. Hold on and lounge him until he's listening- until he only pays attention to you. Don't let him stop working until he's respecting you. If he does get away from you, because you said he's a big horse, don't just let it go- if he stops at the fence, wave a rope and make him run so he can't stop to get treats from your mom. Keep him moving so he can't get the treat until he comes to YOU. Then, put on the halter, lead him around, and when he's listening, let him go. If he runs off again, catch him again. Try taking the bag of carrots from your mom so he has to get them from you, not her. She's creating a dangerous situation for you, and she needs to understand that... It's kinda scary reading about what she's doing. Will she really not listen at all to you, no matter what? :(
    But I think you need to go back to the respect training basics, getting his attention on you, because he's trying to walk ALL over you, and you have it even harder, because now he has a serious distraction...
    Tayz likes this.
         
        12-29-2011, 06:33 AM
      #8
    Yearling
    Thankyou for the tips, will be using them. I've tried to explain but she doesnt understand how dangerous she's making the situation, she blames it on me. Yeh, its probably alot my fault but its hard trying to get his respect and hving someone else around pretty much destroying it. When I first got him, he was amazing he knew the border line, he knew what not to do and now its just everywhere. I was once getting up him, making him go around in circles because he wanted to keep moving and I had asked him to stop and he didnt so I forced him in circles and was going to keep him in circles until I thought was a decent enough of time and my mum actually came over in front of me and told me half way through disciplining him to stop and said . 'hes had enough'. So just like that he got off the hook for somethin else as I had to stop when she stood in front of him. :@ it just makes me so frustrated, but my dads taking me out tomorrow so will work with him on the ground by myself.
         
        12-29-2011, 07:14 AM
      #9
    Weanling
    I know how fustrating it can be- my mum couldn't reprimand alli for the life of her.

    When your mum is at the yard, show her cause and effect of her behaivour. When you are leading him and she gets the carrots show her immediatly how this distracts him from you and causes a problem. Tell her straight what her actions cause and show her how it put you in danger. I know its difficult to stand up to your mum- im 15 have the same issue- and she may get mad for a bit but once she realises she is putting her child in danger she will want to stop this. Show her you know what you are doing with the horse and can keep everyone safe as long as she acts appropriatly around the horse
    Tayz likes this.
         
        12-29-2011, 03:56 PM
      #10
    Foal
    Feed and training/work do not mix. When I brought my mare home, she had the habit of racing across the field as fast as possible to who ever entered the field because the previous owner used treats to catch her. When she realized that you weren't going to provide the required reward, she would get mad, and then try to kick you.

    I don't reward my horses at any time during riding or training. I will provide treats during feed time, but that's a different time and completely separate from work time. I just don't think that rewarding with treats is a good practice. But that's just me...
    Tayz likes this.
         

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