Ok - I'm going to, yet again, ignore the slighted insults, and carry on. How, aside from tying to a tree. Would you go about teaching a horse that you are a strong leader. And how have I played into her whim? I have never EVER let her get away with not going through the gate when I ask. She has ALWAYS gotten as far as I have asked of her in the end. I have NEVER let her win any battle, so I don't know how I reinforced her fear - but I'd love to be told! I'd love to know how I can be a better leader for my horse! Step by step method would be great.
As for chasing vs. hazing. When she first moved to our new house she was afraid of her stall and wouldn't go in. I lead her to it and tried to make her go through. After hours of doing everything I described in my OP she still wouldn't go in. But I wasn't going to let her win, I had my fiance go into her stall and stand behind her stall door and hold her lead rope as strong as he could. I went out - her whole body was tense, her tail was tucked a good 6 inches into her bum, she was trembling all over - but I wasn't going to let her win. I pushed her and commanded "walk on", she just trembled and was as hard as a rock and soaked in sweat from me working her butt off. But she was afraid of her stall. Yes you're right, she does talk herself into being afraid. But how am I to show her there's nothing to fear if she won't trust me? How am I to build her trust? I finally had to whack her butt with another rope. Nothing. She just trembled, couldn't get away, couldn't go forward. I continued whacking her and pushing her until she finally just jumped into her stall. I slammed the door shut behind her and left her in for 2 days. Now she loves her stall. What MORE can I do than that?!
If I were to try the same approach, out in the open, where there was no stall door to protect my fiance (who is NOT a horse person) she would have killed one of us. What more can I do? Please tell me what better I can do? I have got her yielding to every pressure I ever apply at the slightest amount. I don't even need to touch her I just step into her space and wiggle my fingers and she's moving away. What more can I do? Please tell me what to do and how I want to know. But trying to 'haze' her out to a tree will get us killed.