I want to train horses, my mom knows this - but won't let me help train new horse?? - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 58 Old 05-07-2013, 02:36 PM
Green Broke
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Hand feeding treats can lead to accidental nips. My gelding absolutely can not be hand fed I did once and he became pushy and lipping my hands after just that once. Never again his treats now go in his bucket my trainer has two young sons and I won't risk it.

Be thankful you even get to work/ride horses my mom wanted nothing to do with them and even gave my first two away after my dad left. You are lucky the only way I was able to ride was working my butt off at a local ranch.

Don't question your mom, suck it up and wait till she allows you to work with him.

just a small town girl with a big town dream :]
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post #22 of 58 Old 05-07-2013, 02:38 PM
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Okay, Kiddo... Honor what your mom lays down as the rules. But spend time watching what she is doing. And after a while, as the horse progresses, you can talk to her about helping her, being involved. You can learn a lot this way and it won't irritate your mom. Trust me, this counts for a lot in the Mom Department.
For now be willing to step aside and be an interested observer.Your household will be a lot happier place and, actually, you will be happier in the long run.

If you ever find yourself in a fair fight, it's because your tactics suck. ~ Marine 1SGT J. Reifinger
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post #23 of 58 Old 05-07-2013, 03:02 PM
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You say you don't know everything but...

There isn't a but, you don't know everything. You know some, but not 'a lot', you'd be surprised at just HOW MUCH knowledge there is to gain in the horse world, you don't have to justify yourself because you're only 15, you have many many more years to learn all you need to know to start training.

It sounds like you have multiple horses?
Focus on the ones you're allowed to work with, don't 'train' them to do anything unless you have your mothers' permission (since you share them all) and watch her work with the horses, the best place to start learning is in your own back yard, so start taking lessons from her, if you show her you're willing to learn and soak up information then in the future you might be able to start training.
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post #24 of 58 Old 05-07-2013, 03:32 PM
Green Broke
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I am old.. over 50... by comparison.

I don't know everything. No buts.... ;)

There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ~Winston Churchill
(or woman!!!! ) Dinosaur Horse Trainer
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post #25 of 58 Old 05-07-2013, 03:52 PM
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Location: I was born in Germany, raised in Texas.
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Well, as an almost 40 year old mother of 6 kiddos, 3 of which are teenagers, I can just about guarantee you without much doubt that she wants you to be safe. I have a rule at my house, and it doesn't matter how old you are, if I'm not out there, you will not set foot into the horse pen. Period. The way my kids gain their baby steps of freedom around the horses here is they earn them. If you want to be out there with them, you will follow my rules, and I will eventually "loosen the reins" on you. I have a 9 year old that I would trust more around our horses than our 16 year old only because she is ALWAYS out there when I'm out there and she has learned to read them, she expects their respect, and she watches my every move. She is also out there for the more "unpleasant" stuff like cleaning the barn, scrubbing out water troughs, and caring for injuries. And yet, she will not question my decisions. She doesn't realize it but she is learning and gaining MY confidence in her abilities every time we open the barn door. And it's not because she's reading it in books or watching it on Youtube. It's like letting your teenager have the keys to your car. You don't just buy them a new car and say, OK. Have at it. Show me what you got. You work with your teen, you drive with your teen and eventually you will earn my confidence. And if it's after 10pm and I'm not comfortable with letting you drive, whether you've had your license for 6 days or 6 months, it just ain't happening! ;) And oh, please don't ever let me find one of my kids questioning my decisions on an open forum like this. Wouldn't be good. She's your mom. She only has what's best for you in mind. Believe me, we're not just out to make your life miserable. Quite the contrary. There's nothing more exciting than watching your child work and be good at something that has been a life passion for yourself. I never had parents who were nuts about horses like I was. It's such a gift to get to share it with your children. BUT, I also know from many many years of experience, including training, that a split second can put you in the hospital even when you kind of know what you're doing so please don't question your mom's intentions. Wish her a Happy Mother's Day on Sunday! She deserves it. :)
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post #26 of 58 Old 05-07-2013, 07:08 PM Thread Starter
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you'd be surprised at just HOW MUCH knowledge there is to gain in the horse world
I am not surprised. There is SO MUCH to learn on the life and world and science of horses. There is so much to learn it's almost impossible to remember it all. I know a lot, but what I know is only a grain of sand put up next to the entire list of things about horses.
No matter how good you are or whatever, there will always be somebody who is better than you. Always.

I can give you one good reason your mom doesn't want you spending time training. You need to spend more time on your school work. Especially, your writing skills.
You wrote:
"my friends and my boarder knows it too"
I'm just wondering, but have you ever heard of a typo and writing fast so maybe there is a possible chance of miss-typing something?
I am one of the best writers in my class, but definitely not the best. I have all A's and B's. The closest I have ever gotten to straight A's is one B, and the farthest I have ever gotten from straight A's is one C. But English and Algebra are my best classes - I always have A's in those for my semester grades - the one's that count in high school.

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post #27 of 58 Old 05-07-2013, 07:15 PM
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Amberly, no one is on here to put you down or argue with you. You asked for answers and you got them.

It takes time to gain trust and respect. Keep working hard and maybe you will get there.
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post #28 of 58 Old 05-07-2013, 07:18 PM
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Originally Posted by amberly View Post
I am 15, just to clarify.
I do respect my parents, this post was just to ask why she won't let me help?
The post on my dad - I was super upset that day, I know I was stupid. I would delete it - but I don't know how.

I am in no means trying to be bratty. I was just talking about our horse and asking a question.

I wouldn't be training him alone either - my mom will not let anyone in the stall with him or let any horses get close to him, yet. Soon he will be pastured with Golley, but until then she says for no one to handle him without her being there. Which I agree with that because I don't know what he will do if something surprising happens. We have only had him for about five days.

The horse was to be shared. We have always shared our horses and she said that we will share Chocolate too.

I am grateful for what my parents do for me - everyone has their days and I do apologize for being rude about my dad.

When we groundwork our horses, it's to get their attention on us and listen to us - and correct any bad habits they may have. Brisco has a problem with crowding when he circles around you - but I have fixed that and he doesn't do it anymore.
Chocolate is scared about backing out. When he were unloading him, he got both feet on solid ground - but then he just got right back in the trailer. They poor guy was shaking - but I will let my mom handle the trailers. I am not completely comfortable with going in trailers yet. But I am getting better at it.
Chocolate's previous owner always let the horse decide how he got caught. That is why he never let the previous owner - who had him since chocolate was 6 months old (he is now seven) - catch him from even walking up to his side. The owner had to touch his hind first and work his way up to his head. When we were taking him home and trying him out chocolate did this both times.
I have led the horse and pet him and be around him - that's all my mother will let me do. But so far Chocolate has been very curious. He is really good about his new home - he is quiet and he acts like he ha been here forever. He is a very calm horse and lets you do almost anything to him - I've watched my mom with him.

I know I have lots to learn, but I also do know a lot. But I don't know everything. Everyone is different, but everyone does have to learn more, always. I realise that, and I understand that. And like I said before, I do respect my mom and my dad. I do everything they tell me to do and I do respect them.

I know what gaited is - they replace the trot with a different gait that keeps them moving but almost always have his feet on the ground. I saw a video of a Paso Fino - man, they look hideous, but they are so smooth to ride.

I share my horses with my friends too, but I only let them handle my horses when I am around - which is why I understand why my mom doesn't want any one else messing with Chocolate while she isn't around.

If your horse takes a bite of your hand thinking it's a treat, then you need to correct that. But horses grasp food with their lips. If you put a few treats in a bucket of marbles and gave it to them, they would eat all the treats and not a single marble. That's the beauty of their lips. :) There was a word for their lip movement like that, I forgot what it was. But I will say it when I remember.
I have asked my mom about it and she just said that I ma not allowed to. She didn't say why or anything. That's just weird.

This isn't a personal issue - my friends and my boarder knows it too. They know I am on this forum.

Me and my mom are the only ones in my family who like horses. My dad just wants my mom happy, which is why he doesn't say anything about it.
I don't want gaited horses to trot - I like the gait better than a trot. I guess I must have miss-typed something because I know you shouldn't let gaited horses trot. It's basically like gaited horses have no trot. lol.

I do watch videos, and I have books and I actually takes notes on the books and videos too. I take them with me when I ride in case I need to look at something - and I also ask my mom.

I don't get an allowance and I do my chores. I know I have a lot more stuff than some people in the world - The point of my original post was to ask to see if anyone has any ideas on maybe why she won't let me help. I thank you for your posts and advice as well.

I do everything my parents ask me to do, and everyday after school I do two or more chores. My mom said that soon I will be able to ride the bus to our boarder's house (my friend also lives there.) so I can help my friend with her cleaning the stalls and afterwards go ride.

Thanks for the advice - and ideas.
Until you pay the bills you do as you're told.
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post #29 of 58 Old 05-07-2013, 07:20 PM
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It sounds like Amberly has a good head on her shoulders, despite the parental rants but hey I'm sure there isn't one person on this forum that's 100% innocent of ever venting about their family, on the internet or otherwise

It's a tough bunch of people to impress here and given some of the answers I know plenty of 14 - 15 year old girls who would have thrown a fit. I think people here are a bit quick to judge (like the comment on her grammar, really? I've seen adults on this forum with horrendous grammar, who use short forms, make mistakes, etc) because there have been MANY threads posted that are complete 'woe is me' irrational whine fests. This isn't one of them! And at least OP knows there is lots to learn, I think she's got the point now.
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post #30 of 58 Old 05-07-2013, 07:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Elana View Post
I am old.. over 50... by comparison.

I don't know everything. No buts.... ;)
Don't talk like that. I am over 65 so I guess that makes me ancient. My son used to tell me that we train horses differently now than I "used to train dinosaurs".

But, the 'Mothers' Curse' came back to haunt him. His 5 year old knows EVERYTHING and I can send her back home to him any time I want to. [His house is about 300 yards across the North pasture from ours.]
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