I'm about ready to just put down everything and give up. Magic is a sweet horse, but he's so stubborn and I cannot match him in strength. I'm sure he's about 15x my size. His big problem is coming out of the barn. There's a little bit of mud in front of the entrances to the barn and when I try to lead him out, he won't follow me. Then it comes down to a battle of brawn, and he always wins. He's made me cry the last two days. He also doesn't pay attention when he's anywhere near the barn, so in order to lunge him, I have to go way out in the pasture. I can't bring all of my jump stuff out there, so he's getting no jumping practice at all.
Riding him is just as hard. I'm only able to ride bareback right now because I'm waiting on my saddle and my girth to come in. No matter how hard I kick him, he refuses to move. I have had to use a whip on him to get him to trot and sometimes just to get him to walk, which I hate. I eventually want him to go when I squeese my legs, but I have no idea how to do it!
He's a basically untrained 3-year old ex-racehorse. I think I'm going in to this unprepared. I am used to working with push-button horses who do what I want them to. I think my patience has been kinda whittled away into nothing. I really want to work with him because I already love him, but I really can't handle the physical and emotional stress that has come in the last few days.
Also, I don't own him. I am "leasing" him. I'm paying for his feed, feet, and vet bills while his owner is at the track doing her ponying thing. As soon as she gets back at the end of the summer, he's hers. She's planning on taking him to the track to turn him into a pony horse. I'm not being payed for training him. I'm actually paying her so I can train him. She will get all of the profit off of my hard work. I'm starting to think it's not worth it. I really don't want to give up, but I don't know how much longer I can handle it.