Increasing my bond with a "who cares" female Arabian? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 18 Old 01-17-2011, 11:41 AM Thread Starter
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Increasing my bond with a "who cares" female Arabian?

Hi, I'm 16 and I lease a horse named Psymara. She is a female gray Arabian and she can be very good at times, while other times she can be very high strung and not listen to me.

I feel like I'm missing something when I see/talk to her and let her go in the pasture. Don't some horses act happy/excited when they see someone they like? Or give "horse hugs"? Or at least act interested?

Psymara just stands around like she doesn't even notice me. I ride her a lot, especially during the 4H and Equestrian season.

This may be cheesy and I'm new so I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section, but how can I increase my "bond" with my horse?
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post #2 of 18 Old 01-17-2011, 11:54 AM
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try having a little in hand session with her, do you have an arena/lunging paddock or anywhere you can take her away from other horses? take her in there & try teaching her some tricks & basic ground manners etc,
it will get her focus on you. take some treats & just look up a few tricks you can teach her :)
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post #3 of 18 Old 01-17-2011, 12:03 PM Thread Starter
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Ok, the barn she is at has an arena and if I go there at the right time, no other horses should be there. I will look up some tricks!

But I don't know how to lunge. :/
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post #4 of 18 Old 01-17-2011, 12:08 PM
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post #5 of 18 Old 01-17-2011, 12:14 PM Thread Starter
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Ok, thank you very much! I will try these things as soon as I can. I looked up some tricks and I'm very excited to try them, but my trainer will probably think I'm crazy! :)
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post #6 of 18 Old 01-17-2011, 12:20 PM
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My horse is like that too, she is reaaly not the friendly type. She was trained harshly so she has trust issues, though. Maybe your mare had the same harsh training?


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Before you went and let me down.
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post #7 of 18 Old 01-17-2011, 12:33 PM Thread Starter
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I'm sorry to hear that! My horse is 8 and she was trained by my trainer, I know he can be a little harsh, but not enough that would cause issues. I'm pretty sure he uses Clinton Anderson's method...

I think my horse is a little dull in the senses (if you know what I mean). She shakes her head up and down to entertain herself. And she trips a lot. But after she trips (even if I go flying off her) she gets up and pretends it didn't happen. Like seriously, I look at her and it's like the past 30 seconds didn't happen. It's really weird...
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post #8 of 18 Old 01-17-2011, 12:38 PM
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Much like people, some horses are just more aloof than others. Some horses see "their human" and give a whinny and try to crawl into his/her lap for attention, others look up and then right back down to their food. It's an individual thing. As long as she's respectful and obedient, I wouldn't be too concerned.

Some groundwork type exercises, done correctly, certainly can't hurt. It's mostly a time thing - spend time with her, she'll get used to that. If you can logistically do it (not sure if you're boarding, etc.) try to be the one to feed/care for her every day. If it is a trust issue, and not simply an aloof personality, that will go a long way to getting her to "open up". You might look up some TTouch exercises - I don't put a lot of stock in it as a "training miracle" or anything, but my guys certainly enjoy the "massage" every now and again. One other thing to try is to gently breathe into her nose. That equates to "formally introducing yourself" in horse-ese; note that in a herd setting, horses will greet one another this way. Just be with her, doing things, both actively (groundwork, riding, training) and more passively (feeding/grooming, TTouch, hand grazing).

A stubborn horse walks behind you, an impatient one in front of you, but a noble companion walks beside you ~ Unknown
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post #9 of 18 Old 01-17-2011, 12:41 PM
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My horse is the same way. It's just his personality. I know he has bonded with me though, because when he is sick, injured or scared, he will call for me every time I leave his sight. However during normal times he seems like he couldn't care less.

You might just not have a lovey dovey horse. It's just her personality. Try to just accept her for the way she is.

Help me horse forum! You're my only hope!
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post #10 of 18 Old 01-17-2011, 12:47 PM Thread Starter
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Ok thank you! That makes sense about an aloof personality. I guess if that's her personality I wouldn't want to change it. But it wouldn't hurt to spend more time with her.

I lease her, so it's hard to get out to the barn everyday, especially when I have homework but I will try harder.

Thanks again ^_^
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