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I've come to realize it's me not her

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  • How to build up your confidence riding a hourse on you own

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    07-07-2012, 07:15 PM
  #1
Foal
I've come to realize it's me not her

I've had horses off and on for a long time. It seems the older I get the more fearful I get. I've been through 3 horses in the past couple of years. I'm not happy with my mare, but I'm realizing it isn't all her fault. When riding if she miss steps, side steps any kind of acting up even if it is small I get scared. I almost get into a panic state. My question is how do I over come this? I'm tired of selling and trying to buy a perfect horse. I know almost all horses will challenge you to get out of work and once they do the challanges get harder and their behavior gets worse. How do I push past my fear and nip it in the bud. I almost feel the fear is paralyzing me. I'm so scared if I push my mare she will buck me off or rear and I will get hurt that I don't really make her do anything. Most times if I'm by myself I'll get off her and lounge her. I know that it is bad but don't know what else to do.
I know a lot of you will say get a trainer but I haven't been able to find one other then a high dollar barrel raced trainer. He only takes clients horses and trains them for barrels. I just want to be able to ride on trails.
If anyone has gone through this fear and conquered it please tell me how you did it. I'm in my 50's and this is getting worse with time.
     
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    07-07-2012, 07:21 PM
  #2
Showing
Live2ride, is there someone in your area that you could trail ride with to build your confidence up, like a trail riding group?
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    07-07-2012, 07:25 PM
  #3
Weanling
Do you have any friends who ride? Friends with really good trail horses and lots of experience under their belt. I think if you can find a friend who could ride your horse for you, while you ride their nice, mellow trail horse, and show you just what to expect from your own horse, and how to handle it while you're actually in the situation, you might feel a lot better. If you think your horse is really dangerous, I wouldn't do this, but if she's just your average horse who 'doesn't really want to' it might really help.
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    07-07-2012, 07:26 PM
  #4
Started
I totally understand. I am now in my 40's and I get scared too. Have to pretend not to be so the horse doesn't feel it. Thank goodness the only two I have now are 'slow-goers'. However, my one mare is only 3 so I worry she will suddenly get into an 'acting up' stage. oops:
     
    07-07-2012, 07:26 PM
  #5
Trained
I would make a list of things you are comfortable doing with her. Then just do those things until you arent worried about her bucking, rearing, etc. even if that means just riding her around at the walk. I think if you do that, you will begin to trust her more and will start wanting to do more.

Does she have issues with bucking, rearing, or other misbehaviors ?
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    07-07-2012, 07:28 PM
  #6
Started
Quote:
Originally Posted by calicokatt    
Do you have any friends who ride? Friends with really good trail horses and lots of experience under their belt. I think if you can find a friend who could ride your horse for you, while you ride their nice, mellow trail horse, and show you just what to expect from your own horse, and how to handle it while you're actually in the situation, you might feel a lot better. If you think your horse is really dangerous, I wouldn't do this, but if she's just your average horse who 'doesn't really want to' it might really help.
I agree.....sometimes you imagine all these train wrecks that can happen with your horse...but when you watch someone else ride them, you see that they are actually managable.
     
    07-07-2012, 07:28 PM
  #7
Weanling
My daughter can sympathize with you.after going to an awful trainer for two years and many falls, she was horrified of jumping for the next three years and she still doesn't like going to fast, even if that too fast is a good speed, she tried facing her fears but ended up quoting jumping because she was too scared.she started dressage instead. After a while, she decided that it wasn't too scary after all.
I would live to tell you, stop doing what makes you scared, but riding overall scars you time to time. If you are one to face your fears, deliberately take your horse to a rocky place where she could slide. You may slide so much you get over it.
I would also see if you can get a friend to put you on the lunge line so you could do trust activities. And maybe riding bareback would help you get better muscles which may might may you feel safer.
     
    07-07-2012, 08:19 PM
  #8
Super Moderator
Where in Oklahoma do you live? We trail ride and take out trail riders for living (as well as sell trail horses) since we are too old and decrepit to train cowhorses any more. We do not train them for the public any more, but we let people ride their own horses with us on trail rides.

We would be happy to let you ride with us. We are in South Central OK and there are thousands of acres on big ranches around here that we have permission to ride on.

We know where you are coming from. I am 66 but have the spine of someone 90+ and husband just turned 71 a week ago and is getting over a shoulder he broke in 3 places in May. He has also had quadruple by-pass surgery and a brain hemorrhage
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    07-07-2012, 09:56 PM
  #9
Weanling
I had issues like this in my 50's after a horrendous wreck. When my horse shifted his weight, I'd have a panic attack. What solved it for me was hours and hours on a dead broke confidence builder. I rode that horse until I was bored to death with him. Then I moved up to the PITA I ride now (said affectionately.) Cherie was a tremendous help to me on a different forum as I learned how to deal with this willful, opinionated and assertive horse. I never in my wildest dreams thought it would be fun to deal with a horse like this. But it is. You CAN do this. But first you have to be totally honest with yourself: Can you trust your mare? Has she ever reared or bucked or are you just afraid that she might? You are going to have to force yourself to confront your fears and if you try to do this with a horse that will rear or buck it's going to backfire.

FIRST you get your nerve back and realize that you can deal with sidestepping and minor problems. THEN you deal with bigger problems. Success builds upon success. You might just need to get a deadbroke confidence builder if your horse is really scareing you.
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    07-07-2012, 10:12 PM
  #10
Started
Very very real fear as we get older is the what if's.

We know how long it takes to heal, and are not anxious to do that.

Find someone to ride with, that is sensible.

Do not push yourself too hard, until you feel more secure. And take up member who offered to ride with you, as that will help, if you are close enough.
HagonNag likes this.
     

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