Originally Posted by babyb
I wish I had the guts to do that. I will get to work with her by myself all this upcoming week. I am to the point I don't know what else to do. I don't want to have to send misty away to get trained but I can't do it the way I want here not with him doing whatever he wants with her. Yes she is MY horse, but she is on his property and he thinks he knows all about training
Misty has no voice -- YOU have to be her voice. You cannot "wish" you had the guts, you have to find them and NOW. It is upsetting to see how little respect your brother-in-law and, especially, own husband apparently have for you to have gone and done this KNOWING how you feel about what you want for your horse. Decide NOW what you want for your horse and MAKE it happen, if you can't do that, find Misty a home where someone can -- I am sure that sounds harsh, but if you aren't able to stand up for her, you are not able to be the leader and custodian she deserves to have.
You need to speak with both your BIL and your husband, explain what YOU want for YOUR horse, how YOU want YOUR horse to be cared for, etc and set it out there that either YOUR decisions are honored or they are to have no contact with her, period. Yes, that may mean having to look for a different situation to keep her in- again, I know it's easier said than done, but it comes down to making what needs to happen, happen.