A) your horse can know you, and still hurt you. Its a 1000LBS animal with a mind of its own. **** happens. My horse knows me and has un-intentially hurt me a few times, let alone countless times with horses not my own over my 14 years of riding and being around horses. They are unpredictable animals, that are stronger then you, with there own thoughts, feeling, and emotions. Thinking she wont hurt you because she knows you is niave, sorry, but its true
B) because you can ride her around bare back and she responds to a bit doesnt mean she's broke. Alot more goes into being broke then carrying someone around and listening to the bit. Id say, at most, with the info youv given us, she's green broke. And that's at most
C) a horse being kept in a muddy paddock doesnt mean there abused, epeshally depending on the season, sometimes there is no way to prevent the mud, or stop it, etc. nore does not being trimmed regularily mean abuse (pending on there feet)
D) if you don't have a trailor,rent one, or see if she can come to you. Some lesson barns etc might not charge you as much as trainers, but still be good. However, it depends on the trainer, not just hire somebody who says they can train. Many people walk the walk and don't talk the talk, you know? Ask to see there work and talk with them first
E) chasing your horse around with the saddle, acomplishes nothing, except proving to her that she has power over you, not the other way around. I doubt she is fearful of the saddle but without seeing it I don't know for sure. My advice to you, would be to put her to work when she moves away from the saddle, have her on a lunge line, and when she moves away, put her to work IMEDIATLY, chase her out and keep her going for a few times around you, or until you see signs of her focusing on you (head lowerd, licking lips etc), bring her in, and try again, she refuses, put her to work again IMEDIATLY, no ifs ands or buts. She doesnt want to stand, she works. End of story. Other then that LOTS and LOTS of ground work, working on her respecting YOUR space. Not coming into your bubble unless you invite her, not walking infront of you, when you stop she stops with you at your shoulder, backing out of your space when you walk towards her etc etc etc. anything that says "I am your leader, this is my space, you do as I say on my terms" and start with that.
Thaats the best advice I can offer,but you do need to work with a trainer. In my persinal experience it helps ALOT! I know my horse and I have come leaps and bounds since we started working with my trainer.
P.s. Congrats on your pregnency, but be extra careful with your mare now