my horse doesnt want to be with me - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 34 Old 08-04-2008, 03:20 PM
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Dumas (my 9yo gelding) took about 3 months to come running for feed and another 3 to be "wanting" to be touched (pet, groomed,etc) and now at 10 months of ownership he is happily sticking his nose out to get rubbed and fussed with. Dumas was "headshy" when we got him and we have done wonders with him. No longer are we having to tie him low to get the bridle on.

Congrats with the new horse. Grab a good book ( I used training manuals and horse magazines ) Go out to his pen/pasture and have a good sit in a lawn chair with a cold drink and read away. He will eventually come up to you and see what you're doing..horses are curious by nature. I would only pet him and aknowledge that he is there when he is close enough to touch without reachin too far. Good Luck!!! He'll come around.

And yes....The people here are the BEST!!!

Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged by the size of the task, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.

1 Chronicles 28:20








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post #12 of 34 Old 08-04-2008, 03:29 PM
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when Charmer is out with his BFF, B.G, they trot away from me in the turn out with their head up high and ears pricked forward when i'm trying to bring Charmer in. then they stop and look back at me. then i try walking closer to them, but it just starts all over again :roll: so i give in and get two handfuls of hay and they always fall for it
so, idk if their playing with me or trying to avoid me haha!

i think if it were up to them, they would live out there together!

if someone 'gives their two cents' when its just a penny for their thoughts..where does that extra penny go?

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post #13 of 34 Old 08-04-2008, 03:35 PM
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This is a very, very common situation with new horses. I don't even want to call it a "problem" because it really isn't. Some horses just take awhile.

It took me about a year with Buster to build our bond. He was the dominant horse on the farm and didn't really build relationships with any other horses, either. It discouraged me because I didn't want him to be aloof and refuse to come to me.

So here's what I did:

-I used treats judiciously. As long as he's polite, never puts his teeth on me, and respects my space, he gets quite a few carrots and Manna Pro Apple Wafers. That helped a lot.

-Here's the second part and one that a lot of people overlook. A horse has to have a reason besides just the food to want to bond with a person. The horse needs to respect the human as a capable leader. This comes through training, especially ground work. I follow Clinton Anderson, but all good trainers have somewhat-similar methods.

Once Buster realized that I was a capable leader and I expected him to follow my leadership, our bond started to deepen.

Now, Buster calls to me as soon as he sees my car arrive at the farm. He'll also cross a huge pasture to come see me if he hear's me call his name.

Life is hard enough on its own, please be kind.
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post #14 of 34 Old 08-04-2008, 03:40 PM
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I don't think there's anything wrong with treats if they're used right. In a year and a half, I've only walked up to Arrow in a field without a treat for him a handful of times.

I give exactly 3 treats a day--when I catch him, when I unbridle after the ride, and when I turn him loose. He expects them and doesn't push and nip for treats at other times because he knows that's all he's getting.

I don't think there's anything wrong with catching him with a treat every day if that's the only treat he gets.
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post #15 of 34 Old 08-04-2008, 03:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solon
Some horses can take quite some time to establish a bond.

How long have you had the horse? It took nine months for my draft to finally establish a bond with me. Now it's an unbreakable one.
That was about the timeline for me and Arrow, too. It doesn't happen overnight--but it will happen.
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post #16 of 34 Old 08-04-2008, 03:49 PM Thread Starter
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thanks everyone! I will take your advice. I havent even started ground training because I thought it would make bonding with my horse harder.....makin him associate me with work. I havent sat out in the pasture with him either, so i'll try that too. Plus im gonna get him a bag of carrots today! and any educational videos or books that anyone can recommend is highly appreciated
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post #17 of 34 Old 08-04-2008, 03:58 PM
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Did you see what I posted on p. 1 about those carrots?

With my first horse, I wouldn't get into some of the more complicated groundwork at the start (lunging, games, libery stuff). Start simple. Most of the dvd sets out there come in sets and will have lots of stuff you should not use at first.

There's one dvd that's perfect for a first-time owner: Leadline Leadership by Julie Goodnight. It's cheaper than most of the rest, there are four steps, she goes through each step with multiple horses--it's clear and easy to use and you can do it with just a halter and leadrope. She suggests a rope halter, but you could do without.

You'll find it at www.juliegoodnight.com

The reason I think you should start there, is because until you've established your leadership role with the horse--you should control his head at all times. When you are with him, have him on a leadrope, or ride him (control him with reins). Don't hang out in the pasture with him at liberty--put him in a halter and leadrope and handgraze him or groom him if you just want to hang out. That's very, very important while you are laying the foundation of your relationship. Respect comes first, then friendship.
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post #18 of 34 Old 08-04-2008, 04:01 PM
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Had to edit the above post if you read it already--should NOT use at first in first para...
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post #19 of 34 Old 08-04-2008, 04:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arrow
Did you see what I posted on p. 1 about those carrots?

With my first horse, I wouldn't get into some of the more complicated groundwork at the start (lunging, games, libery stuff). Start simple. Most of the dvd sets out there come in sets and will have lots of stuff you should not use at first.

There's one dvd that's perfect for a first-time owner: Leadline Leadership by Julie Goodnight. It's cheaper than most of the rest, there are four steps, she goes through each step with multiple horses--it's clear and easy to use and you can do it with just a halter and leadrope. She suggests a rope halter, but you could do without.

You'll find it at www.juliegoodnight.com

The reason I think you should start there, is because until you've established your leadership role with the horse--you should control his head at all times. When you are with him, have him on a leadrope, or ride him (control him with reins). Don't hang out in the pasture with him at liberty--put him in a halter and leadrope and handgraze him or groom him if you just want to hang out. That's very, very important while you are laying the foundation of your relationship. Respect comes first, then friendship.
I guess I need to back up with the magazine thing a minute. I did not do this straight off. I took my horses on walks...like you would with your dog so to speak. I decided when they would graze and when they would go. I spent time with them on lead rope before I just hung out with them. I wanted my horses to know that I mean business when they are on lead. Yes, horsie...I am your boss now. Once we had a working relationship,(they would behave on lead etc.) we begun our friendship and that's when I hung out with them. I have also learned a ton by just hanging out and watching from the fence. I like Julie Goodnight, I also like John Lyons.

Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged by the size of the task, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.

1 Chronicles 28:20








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post #20 of 34 Old 08-04-2008, 07:00 PM
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One of the best things you can do with him is ignore him. Seriously.

Go into his stall, pasture, turnout with a good book and cold bottle of water and sit there and read. Let him come up to you if he wants too. He'll be curious about you being there.

That's what I did and still do quite a bit. When I put Solon in his turnout pasture I'll take a book out and plop down and start reading.He'll be off grazing, then will swing by and nuzzle my head or want his belly scratched then off he goes eating again.

Sometimes doing absolutely nothing is the best thing to do!

Unless it weighs a ton... it's just a horse. Draft horse motto.
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