It's not what was written, it's how it was written
When things are written, you lose tone of voice, jestures and facial expression. Thus things that are read are more easily misunderstood, or subject to the readers moods. I think you need to step back and take it as it was intended, advice and/or constructive critisism from experienced horse people trying to help you out.
Get someone out to take a look at your horse(vet, etc) and have them confirm she is not uncomfortable and your tack fits. Then proceed with desensitizing her to the saddle and making work fun for her.