While the running advice to tire one out may work for an experienced rider? For someone who is NOT experienced, that advice will get someone killed, and possibly the horse too.
I don't know your level of experience of course, but would judge that it isn't much, since you are having trouble with this.
I'd stay at walk for a while, reinforcing your cues and the response from the horse. Ideally, you want the softest lightest cues, almost a feather touch. That comes from repeatedly working with the horse, until it is responsive.
And much of the responsiveness comes from your handling on the ground too.
For instance, if when you halter horse, you immediately take off walking, or mount, your horse moves off, you have taught the horse to not wait for your cues. That will lead to a horse ignoring you down the line. Periodically when walking, you should stop horse, (on ground) and make it stand patiently beside you, while you decide when to move off, same when you first go up. Sit there and then ask horse to move out.
Stop horse and just stand there when mounted. Same when haltering, wait for a few minutes in the stall or pasture, before leading.
It may also be your hands are not steady, or your seat isn't, and horse is running through your hands because of it. Work on your balance, your cuing, and your horse skills would be what I would do.
But until you can effectively stop a horse, you don't need to be doing anything more than a walk.
Horses make me a better person.