Sorry this is so long. I edited this a lot to make it shorter, but kept finding new things to add that just made it the same length. :icon_rolleyes: Also, I wasn't 100% sure where to post this, so sorry if it's in the wrong spot!
I have this 13 y/o Quarab mare named Pepper. I've been riding her for over two years and I've owned her for about one and a half.
I am not a confident rider. I get very nervous, especially when jumping. I'm also very hard on myself and get really upset when I do something wrong. When I first started riding her, we were fine. She was spooky, but not too dangerous and not too much for me to handle. The problems really started to show up when I bought her. She runs out of even the littlest jumps. I started to get very nervous when we jumped. Pepper could sense my nervousness, and then she'd get nervous. Then I'd get more nervous, which made her more nervous, which made me more nervous, which made her... you get the point. I started to get nervous every time I rode. A lot of rides ended up with me in tears and having to go into the round pen. When she got this nervous, she would just canter around the ring uncontrollably.
I've tried my gosh-darn hardest to do everything my trainer is telling me to fix it, but nothing seems to be working. According to my trainer, I'm accidentally kicking her in the sides when she starts cantering. There are two main things I don't understand - this only happens at the end of lessons, and none of the other horses I ride have this issue. At the beginning of rides, Pepper is nearly perfect. It's when we're about to start jumping at the end of lessons. Also, I rode a different horse no differently than I did Pepper (probably worse tbh) and that horse had no issues. No running around the ring, running out of jumps, etc. I don't like to blame things on the horse... but is this really all because I'm kicking her? I mean, she could be a lot more sensitive than other horses... but then why is she perfect before we start jumping?
About a month ago, I had a pretty bad fall. Nobody got seriously hurt, but Pepper refused a small crossrail and I fell. It hurt what little confidence I had A LOT. I was terrified to jump anything at all. The lesson ended with Pepper running around the ring like a maniac and me giving up. I got off as soon as I could and didn't get back on. Not one of my best memories. I haven't had a good ride on her since. The rides were so bad that it became dangerous for anyone in the ring. There were younger children on horses and here we were just running around. What if I caused something to happen to them? I would never forgive myself. It stopped being fun, I started dreading having to ride her. I understand that bad rides happen, but this is every. single. ride.
Because of this, my trainer told me to stop riding Pepper for a few weeks. I've been riding a new horse lately. He's a lot calmer than Pepper and I've actually enjoyed myself again. The only reason I can ride this horse is because his owner is gone for awhile due to person reason and needs to be ridden, so once she gets back I won't be able to ride him as much.
Should I sell her and get a calmer, more confident horse? It's been two years and I haven't gotten anywhere near where I had expected us to. I love this horse, I really do, but I don't love riding her anymore. I want a horse that I feel confident on and that I love to ride. I'm willing to sell her for a horse better fitted for me. That fall made me realize that maybe she's too much for me.
There's a chance if I sell her, I won't be able to get a new horse. My parents said that we're only going to buy a new horse if we know the horse is going to be a great match for me, and it's not too expensive. Basically, I can use whatever money Pepper sells for to get a new horse. I'm only 15, I can't get a job until I can drive to help pay for any of this. My parents won't spend very much more than what I could sell Pepper for. They also won't travel very far to get one because of hauling fees and time.
What if Pepper won't sell for a lot? What if no one will even buy her? What if I can't find a new horse for me? Or if I do find one, what if it's too far away? What if this new horse ends up to be just as bad, or even worse, than Pepper? These are my main concerns. I just need some advice on what I should do.
tl;dr - I'm not confident enough for my horse, should I sell her or keep trying?
I have this 13 y/o Quarab mare named Pepper. I've been riding her for over two years and I've owned her for about one and a half.
I am not a confident rider. I get very nervous, especially when jumping. I'm also very hard on myself and get really upset when I do something wrong. When I first started riding her, we were fine. She was spooky, but not too dangerous and not too much for me to handle. The problems really started to show up when I bought her. She runs out of even the littlest jumps. I started to get very nervous when we jumped. Pepper could sense my nervousness, and then she'd get nervous. Then I'd get more nervous, which made her more nervous, which made me more nervous, which made her... you get the point. I started to get nervous every time I rode. A lot of rides ended up with me in tears and having to go into the round pen. When she got this nervous, she would just canter around the ring uncontrollably.
I've tried my gosh-darn hardest to do everything my trainer is telling me to fix it, but nothing seems to be working. According to my trainer, I'm accidentally kicking her in the sides when she starts cantering. There are two main things I don't understand - this only happens at the end of lessons, and none of the other horses I ride have this issue. At the beginning of rides, Pepper is nearly perfect. It's when we're about to start jumping at the end of lessons. Also, I rode a different horse no differently than I did Pepper (probably worse tbh) and that horse had no issues. No running around the ring, running out of jumps, etc. I don't like to blame things on the horse... but is this really all because I'm kicking her? I mean, she could be a lot more sensitive than other horses... but then why is she perfect before we start jumping?
About a month ago, I had a pretty bad fall. Nobody got seriously hurt, but Pepper refused a small crossrail and I fell. It hurt what little confidence I had A LOT. I was terrified to jump anything at all. The lesson ended with Pepper running around the ring like a maniac and me giving up. I got off as soon as I could and didn't get back on. Not one of my best memories. I haven't had a good ride on her since. The rides were so bad that it became dangerous for anyone in the ring. There were younger children on horses and here we were just running around. What if I caused something to happen to them? I would never forgive myself. It stopped being fun, I started dreading having to ride her. I understand that bad rides happen, but this is every. single. ride.
Because of this, my trainer told me to stop riding Pepper for a few weeks. I've been riding a new horse lately. He's a lot calmer than Pepper and I've actually enjoyed myself again. The only reason I can ride this horse is because his owner is gone for awhile due to person reason and needs to be ridden, so once she gets back I won't be able to ride him as much.
Should I sell her and get a calmer, more confident horse? It's been two years and I haven't gotten anywhere near where I had expected us to. I love this horse, I really do, but I don't love riding her anymore. I want a horse that I feel confident on and that I love to ride. I'm willing to sell her for a horse better fitted for me. That fall made me realize that maybe she's too much for me.
There's a chance if I sell her, I won't be able to get a new horse. My parents said that we're only going to buy a new horse if we know the horse is going to be a great match for me, and it's not too expensive. Basically, I can use whatever money Pepper sells for to get a new horse. I'm only 15, I can't get a job until I can drive to help pay for any of this. My parents won't spend very much more than what I could sell Pepper for. They also won't travel very far to get one because of hauling fees and time.
What if Pepper won't sell for a lot? What if no one will even buy her? What if I can't find a new horse for me? Or if I do find one, what if it's too far away? What if this new horse ends up to be just as bad, or even worse, than Pepper? These are my main concerns. I just need some advice on what I should do.
tl;dr - I'm not confident enough for my horse, should I sell her or keep trying?