OK. Respect appears to be an issue here, and sorry to say, but frustration then follows. One thing, she needs to look for you for her next move, give her the direction she wants (needs to take.) Reward good behavior, and get after her when she displays bad by making her work, and move. The key is releasing the pressure the second she gives you the right answer and you know she "got it." If you tell her to stop moving, the minute you know she's thinking of moving even her shoulder or foot, get after her. If she doesn't respond to a smack in the belly, make her turn her head or do a tight circle by applying pressure though the halter or snaffle bit. Reward her by releasing the pressure when she turns her head or gives to the bit. A horse needs to learn the right answer by doing it at least 1,000 times. Horses are extremely smart, and you need to stay a step ahead of them. Does she disrespect you? Sorry, but from what I read, yes. When horses know you are fearful, they know they are in charge and you aren't. (Hence, "pecking order") Take a deep breath and get some confidence that you can control her by asking her to do small tasks and then working your way up. I am optimistic you can do this!