Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Greenville area / SC
Horsecrazy, you never mentioned to steps you took to get her to the point where you got on her so it's impossible to tell what went wrong in her training.
The steps you needed to take would have been to start her in a round pen teaching her to walk, trot, and whoa by verbal commands. Next would have been to introduce her to the saddle and then work her with the saddle. This teaches her the feel for what is to come and help her get acclimated to it. Next is the bridle with a mild snaffle for a bit and no reins. I would then work her on long lines attached to the bit and run through the stirrups. You will teach her direction by the use of her head and the feel for all the tack you have on her. She should know all the gaits verbally by now and how to back up.
This all takes time, not just one day. Take it slow and she will develop trust in you. A horse can be ridden for 25 to 30 years (if properly cared for) so don't rush her training. Once she is working well with the long lines, then it's time to clime on board. Once up, just sit there and let her go where she wants and at her own pace. Let her learn balance. After a while you can slowly introduce some directional control with your reins and leg.
Those are the very basics. It's not a good idea just to clime on her. You are teaching her bad habits. It is especially wrong to clime on her while she is eating.
You sound like you may be relatively new to horses or at least to young ones and your frustration can easilly be transmitted to your horse. As Sempre suggested, it may be best to get some professional help to get you going so that you don't create problems that will need to be corrected instead of getting it right the first time.
Good luck with your horse and welcome to the forum.
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