new to horse ownership very discouraged

Hi I am a 51 yr old lady new to horses. I have a 22 yr old appy gelding. Was told he was very gentle could ride the grandkids. We have had him about a month. I put him on equine senior when we got him. He has fescue hay. Last week he started getting very excited over his grain. This week he has started bucking when I come in with the food. And he bucks when something spooks him. Also when I try to lead him he just stops and will not move. How do I need to handle him. I am very discourage

Do you know anyone who is more experienced with horses who can help you out in terms of basic handling and ground manners? It just sounds like this horse is testing his new boundaries. If he finds there aren't any, he'll be happy to take over. Hopefully it's nothing a some basic limit setting won't fix.

Eta: sorry puck, we double posted!

Oh my..

First, you seem to have done everything right in getting a "goldie oldie" etc.

Do you have an experienced friend who can come by? If not, is it possible to look up a local trainer for a one time evaluation kind of situation?

You should get a trainer to come out and give you lessons on how to gain respect. It shouldn't take much as I'm sure he is a good horse, but you need for him to respect you.
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Okay well for the leading thing do a little like shake on the lead rope and if he stops then just yank on it my mare does that

Laddy, don't get too down. Like what has been posted already, you did great selecting an older horse. He sounds like he's testing the waters and should be a simple fix. If you have an experienced friend to help you that would be great, if not find a trainer to come work with you. It shouldn't take much or long.

He needs a refresher that you are the leader, and to mind his manners around you.

There are a bunch of videos on horse.com. They are well worth watching...like you, I started with horses at 50+. A trainer would be great, but we don't all have trainers nearby to help.

I'd start here:

Basic Equine Behavior | Horse Videos – Horse.com Video Library

Also:

Horse Training with Chris Irwin | Horse Videos – Horse.com Video Library

I would suggest you seek out a professional in your area to give you both some lessons and a tune-up. A person being right there can see exactly what's going on (i.e. Is it truly a buck, where a horse leaps and both back feet come up, versus a kick, and what is causing it) and how to fix it. You will get instant feedback, and the pro will be able to direct you exactly on how to handle your situation.
Don't get discouraged, we all have these moments.

Another vote to find a trainer to help you.

Even a good solid citizen can have their moments where they realize they can get the upper hand and they enjoy the feeling of being in charge a little too much.

Curious, what was your guy eating before? Has his turn out situation changed?

Thanks for all of your encouragement. Laddy was on nutra compete ,peanut hay and corn. I changed him to purnia senior he gets about 7 lbs a day. All the fescue hay he can eat. He was with other horses now he only has goat pals. I am going to look at the videos and try to locate some one to help. Thanks again