No respect?? - Page 3 - The Horse Forum

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post #21 of 25 Old 12-03-2012, 12:38 PM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Czech republic
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Originally Posted by Smokum View Post
No respect? It sounds like leadership issues. Your his yearling friend not his leader.

Horses NEED a leader. If your not going to lead them, they will lead you.
Its not respect its survival. A horses natural instinct.
If your mushy and lovely and smother them like a puppy your weak to the horse and the horse knows it and he needs to take charge since you can't.

Going right back to basic's with your horse and back to the round pen then.
Move his legs, switch his transitions and lead your horse with directions.
Your horse kicking out at your while they lounge is disrespectful so make him work harder with more transitions.

Your horse wants to blow up at the most random times. Don't pet him and tell him its going to be okay boy, I love you. Get his ass out on the lounge line and work him. Or if your under saddle get trotting.

You have gained a great connection with your horse with feel.
You know when he is scared or tense. Good, get his legs moving..
Work him out of his feelings and back to your focus.

The moment you feel "Oh crap" start moving.
Thank you for your opinion and point of view... but really, I do not only pet and kiss her, I am not so soft with her most of the time... I just didn't want to base our relationship only on fear.... I wanted to be also her friend... But maybe with this horse, it won't be possible....

8yo pony mare Líza <3
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post #22 of 25 Old 12-03-2012, 05:04 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shanoona View Post
Thank you for your opinion and point of view... but really, I do not only pet and kiss her, I am not so soft with her most of the time... I just didn't want to base our relationship only on fear.... I wanted to be also her friend... But maybe with this horse, it won't be possible....
I understand what you are saying, but in my own experience with horses like this, you need to be their leader first, then their friend. Not the friend who wants to be the leader.

Your relationship with this horse will not be based on fear, your relationship will be based on leadership. Horses are herd animals, if they have their "herd", which you are a part of in her mind, then that herd needs a leader, or they don't feel secure. So, because you aren't being her leader, she has taken it upon herself to be that leader of her herd. Does this make sense?

R.I.P ~ Bubbles - 25yo tb mare - 13.04.2011 ~ 8:30am ~ passed away naturally and peacefully in my arms
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post #23 of 25 Old 12-03-2012, 06:07 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Australia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shanoona View Post
I just didn't want to base our relationship only on fear.... I wanted to be also her friend...
Agree thoroughly with your attitude. I want my horses & those I train to be fully trusting of me & also see me as a friend & partner. BUT I agree with what others are saying too. It's not at all mutually exclusive & so long as you are fair & consistent & timely about your assertiveness, the horse will not become afraid of you. It is 'unpredictable' & 'unfair'(in the eyes of the horse) behaviour/punishment that is unsettling to the horse, as well as not having a worthy, trusted leader.

If you're at all unsure about specifics, I would suggest you do a bit of study into behavioural principles - "Don't Shoot The Dog"(not a dog book as such) by Karen Pryor is a great one for learning the basics & easy to read. Learning *the principles* behind 'Clicker Training' will help you too, whether or not you decide food treats & other details are for you two or not.
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post #24 of 25 Old 12-03-2012, 11:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shanoona View Post
Thank you for your opinion and point of view... but really, I do not only pet and kiss her, I am not so soft with her most of the time... I just didn't want to base our relationship only on fear.... I wanted to be also her friend... But maybe with this horse, it won't be possible....
Respect is not earned by fear, and that isn't what anyone is suggesting. It's like a powerpoint - you aren't scared of it, but you know that if you stick a fork in it, you are likely to wind up dead. That's how your horse should view you - not in terror of you, but knowing that crossing you would end their world. The difference is subtle, but it's there.
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Mods, grant me the serenity to see the opinions I cannot change, courage to change the ones that should change, and the wisdom to spot the trolls.
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post #25 of 25 Old 12-04-2012, 12:29 AM
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Sniggering at your avatar caption chillaa!
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