No respect? Again... - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 12 Old 05-28-2011, 06:50 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Slovenia
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Angry No respect? Again...

So my pony didn't respect me or any other people. When I got him we couldn't do absolutly nothing with him, even leading or picking his hooves up. He used to bite, rear, buck.

Now a year passed. He is easily lead on a rope, gives his hooves, doesn't rear or buck, doesn't mess with me when I'm in his stable, he lunges well, etc... (he isn't ridden- he is foundered rescue pony)

I can work with him just fine, although I still don't trust him completly. He still nips sometimes, but NO is enough and he stops immediatly. I don't need no whip to lunge him, he is great with voice commands. He walks away from me when I give voice comand, and moves his hindquarters away the same way.

But my mom is scared of him and refuses to work with him. She moves horses to field when I'm in school and she told me one day he reared on her when she was moving on the field. She ran away. He was an angel that day, when I worked with him. Next day she told me he reared on her again. She ran away again, and let him win.

Then my injury happened and I didn't lunge him or do anything with him. But I brushed him and clean his hooves everyday (mom doesn't dare to).

Now 2 weeks later I was on the field with him and my mare. He was pushing himself on the fence to get some neighbours grass, so I went to him and touch him to go away, like I always do. He turned and bite in my direction. Very pissed off. I smacked him (not hard, just that it made a sound) and he did a little rear and bolted in my direction. I moved away because he would crush into me. Then I took a whip and made him run. I didn't hit him. After few minutes I told him to stop and he came to me. I patted him and he was ok. Then 10 minutes passed and I wanted to move him again, wondering if he will attack again. He reared and I made him run again (with a whip in my hands - he doesn't attack if I hold something). Still didn't hit him, since he did as I wanted (trotted, cantered). Then I called him and put the whip away, went to him and asked him to go few steps back. He reared a big time! Again I took a whip, hit him, and make him run. After a minute I put him on lunge and he did everything as I wanted, no whip or anything, but there is a lunge rope. I don't know if he would be good without it. He backed as I asked and did the same 10minutes later without me holding anything in my hands.

Did I do right?

Will he ever respect me?

Did this happened because I didn't work with him for some time? Or because he could win with rearing with mom? Both?

What to do with relationship between mom and him?

Mare is his boss and she does the same things to him as he does to people.
As far as I know he had never lived in a herd till now (only in stable, fastened, sure he could see another horses, but not interact with them) and he never learned how to respect a man. He is 6 years old.

I'm going to work a lot with him and I'm planning on getting a trainer in one month.


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post #2 of 12 Old 05-28-2011, 08:56 PM
Join Date: Sep 2010
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Sounds like you have been doing all the right things with him and he has come a long way, and that this is a small hiccup that can definitely be fixed. I think you are right in that he went back to his old ways because you weren't able to work with him and your mom is afraid of him. I think once you begin working with him again and get him back to where you had him, it may help to get your mom to work with him with you, this way she can learn the tools to work with him if you aren't around or are incapacitated again. Like I said I think you are doing all the right things and sounds like he definitely needed a reminder in whose the boss. Horses with respect issues often need refreshers even if they are worked with regularly. Hope everything works out!
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post #3 of 12 Old 05-28-2011, 10:06 PM
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You are brave. I think you are doing well.
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post #4 of 12 Old 05-28-2011, 10:32 PM
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The way things are going i think he's not respecting your mom. Then when you go to do something with him hes like "no way! the other lady lets me do whatever"
You should probably try working with your mom to show her that if she shows him control then he won't take advantage of her just like a kid!
And smacking a horse isn't a bad thing to do at all
Because half the time it doesn't hurt!
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post #5 of 12 Old 05-28-2011, 11:00 PM
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Why are you appologising for using a whip and then only using it to threaten him. Why are you not actually hitting him with it? He is not made of china and he will not break.

He needs a more severe reprimand like another horse would give him. You are only threatening him and making a game out of it. You need to make him pay a much higher price for attacking you -- a higher price than he is willing to pay on a daily basis.

If a person has to reprimand a horse more than twice, then the reprimand was and is a failure. It becomes only an act of 'pecking' on a horse and it usually makes them meaner and more resolved. An effective reprimand is one that takes only once or twice at the very most.
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post #6 of 12 Old 05-29-2011, 05:30 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks everybody.

Yeah, I sometimes think he is made of china and I feel bad when I hit him. :roll:
I'll try to get over it and treat him as he deserves. I don't want him to act like that.

Mom is a big problem. I asked her to work with him (with me showing her) in winter. She said it's too cold for her to stand there and play with him. She'll do it in spring.
Then spring came and I barely got her to him. We started with her touching him everywhere and making him move away from her. Her voice and moving was bad, she was asking him with shaking quiet voice and very careful moving. I told her and showed her many times how she should do it, but then she went to other limit, she almost yelled at him and she used too much pressure starting from beggining. I showed her again, explain it, but she just doesn't/doesn't want to get it. She didn't do anything in the right order. But at the end of third day she could make him step away from her. After that she always had something to do when I asked her if she will go work with him.
Then one day I was lunging him and she came and watch us. I said she should try it, I explained her in which stuff he is different from mare (mom knows how to lunge her) and showed her. I gave her the lunge then and stand beside her, telling her what to do and helping her if she had trouble. He was walking too close and I wanted bigger circle, I told her how to get him away, but she wasn't doing anything close to what I said. I took the lunge and send him out, then called her back. In sometime he was on small circle again, she knew how I send him away, but didn't do it right. He didn't go out and she just said I can't do it, dropped the lunge and went away.

She seems very nervous around him and she never listens to what I say. She doesn't want to work reguraly and expects that everything will be solved if she stands there for few minutes.


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post #7 of 12 Old 05-29-2011, 12:52 PM
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I was watching a show once where they trained mules. But the trainer talked about how the mules she trained would listen impeccably for her, but once they went back with their owners they seemed pretty much unchanged. If you want to get the horse to respect everyone, everyone has to work with them. There are trainers that always step in and correct a horse for someone rather than letting the student do it themselves. This makes the trainer a threat and a sort of punishment, just like the whip. When the whip isn't there the horse doesn't listen because they know they can't be touched.

If you want the horse to respect your mom, then she has to work with him. You can help of course, but don't be the whip. Don't be the only one to correct him and make him listen.

If you have multiple horses just observe them for a while. Look at their pecking order and how they act towards eachother. If you understand that, then you can start shaping a more dominant totem and he will listen to you. My horses skirmish all of the time, but the know that they do not want to drag me into it. If they feel like galloping around like dunces, that is fine, they just can't run me over. My gelding loves to nibble, and when he does I will throw my hands in the air and make him move away from me. Just go into the pasture as often as you can and just stand out there by them. It gives you a chance to be more of a leader if you can be out there more often. You don't have to go anywhere fancy with any fancy tack. If you just have a leadrope and stand in the pasture waiting to interact, then that should sufice.
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post #8 of 12 Old 05-31-2011, 04:03 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks for help :)
I've been checking him every day and he didn't repeat his attacks. He needs everyday work to stay good.
I also made my mom promise me to work with him one day a week (let's say every monday), for a start. I'll make a chart and mark when she worked. And if she postpones it 3 times in a month, she'll have to pay his farrier instead of me. :P
I'll try to do it different way, maybe get her something to read about lunging and how to behave around him, then show her, and then leave her to do it alone (I'll just watch).
I'm observing my 2 horses A LOT. I spend almost every evening with them on the field. Learning, reading, listening to the music...


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post #9 of 12 Old 05-31-2011, 04:13 PM
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I may be missing something but if your Mom is afraid of him & doesn't know what to do, why is she expected to do anything? Doing nothing is sometimes better than doing the wrong thing.
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post #10 of 12 Old 05-31-2011, 04:22 PM Thread Starter
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Because she lets horses out when I'm in school and he attacked her. + I'll be in college in a bit more than a year and she promised to learn at least basic things, so she can brush him and clean his hooves. I'll find someone to work with him, but if she will let him attack her and win, let's face it, soon she won't be able even to get into the stable.


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