sounds like you will want to do some expirimenting on how LITTLE it takes to make your thought become your horse's thought. Can you be on the horse and just "think" trot and she will trot? No leg on , nothing, just thinking? NO? Ok, try thinking trot AND tightening your buttocks the tiniest bit and kind of lifting your body up and ever so slightly forward. You want to think "and . . Trot!" and breathe deeply and think "energy up!" I bet you the horse will trot. When it does , you do NOTHING and let it go forward, coasting.
It can be a really fine line. Try it in the arena and be so subtle that at first nothing happens, then add just enough to get results. No kisssing to your horse, this is about body language!