Elizabeth, I know how difficult training a young horse is.
We had a filly born here. We did so much training with her from the day she was born (May 23rd) up until it was very cold out. Probably November/December. Then we stopped working with her as much. We don't do much with out horses in the winter time. Feed them, love on them but they are rarely worked or ridden.
That was our mistake. That winter, she NEEDED to be worked with, and we didn't do it. Ever since that first winter, she was difficult to deal with. When it came time to her being started under saddle, she was a pain in the ass. I sent her to a professional trainer, she did great at the trainers but every time she came home, she was a different horse. She KNEW she could get away with it. I have started numerous horses under saddle and never been afraid. I even wore a helmet. (Which I don't do for whatever reason...lol...I should) But this mare intimidated me. She had my number and I knew it.
I stuck it out with her for 5 years. Sent her to a professional trainer 3 times. We did great there, but at home she was such a little b*tch to deal with. I finally threw in the towel with her and I gave her to my trainer to find a new home for her. I knew that I was not capable enough for her. I've never had issues with any other horses, just her. I knew she had my number and I knew I wasn't qualified to be on her back. I was going to either get hurt or lose my temper.
I did feel obligated to keep her because she was born here. Because we had been the ones to basically "ruin" her.
After my trainer found her a new home, she passed away 10 days later due to acute kidney failure. No one ever figured out how it happened. My vet thinks she was born with an autoimmune disease that finally took over. She was always "off" so maybe she always tried to tell me something? Maybe she had been in pain for a long time? Maybe she just took advantage of me? I'll never know the answers.
I only feel guilty for one reason. I feel that if I hadn't gotten rid of her, she wouldn't have passed away. But I don't regret giving her to someone that had the ability and time to make her into something...anything. Except a danger to people.
Don't get me wrong, my mare had good ground manners and I could do whatever I wanted to her from the ground. But she was a pain in the ass under saddle and I couldn't handle her.
There comes a time when enough is enough and you need to move on and do what's best for the horse. At that point in time, I did what was best for my mare.
And I hope that you will be able to do what's best for this filly. She's young enough that someone with time and knowledge and turn her into something and teach her some respect. And that's exactly what she needs.
"The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with
him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."