"Playing the Hero" -- when to 'stick with it' & when to realize it's time to move on. - Page 15
 
 

       The Horse Forum > Training Horses > Horse Training

"Playing the Hero" -- when to 'stick with it' & when to realize it's time to move on.

This is a discussion on "Playing the Hero" -- when to 'stick with it' & when to realize it's time to move on. within the Horse Training forums, part of the Training Horses category

    Like Tree142Likes

     
    LinkBack Thread Tools
        02-10-2012, 01:42 AM
      #141
    Foal
    All three of the horses I have had in my life have been free. I have been very lucky to not have any problems with any of them. Not saying anyone should go out and take a free horse because I have seen bad situations before. I am happy I have taken those horses in because if not the first one would be dead from no food and the other two would have been heading to Mexico for slaughter which I couldn't stand there and watch any of them go through that so I was the "hero" those days. I'm still proud to this day for rescuing three horses at some point in my life, but I did always have that feeling about being naughty horses in the back of my head when I took them.
         
    Sponsored Links
    Advertisement
     
        02-14-2012, 11:34 PM
      #142
    Weanling
    Okay, so I've just gone through this in the past couple of days and I'd love some support.
    I'd been shareboarding on a gelding for about 3 months now. He had been used for livery only, but had manners issues and needed some work. Thought his only issues were trying to eat on trail and wandering into the bushes. Turns out its also that he bucks and spins when he decides he wants to go home. LOL that was a surprise the first time. So anyway, I figured with some arena time working on bending and listening that I could straighten this out (I have experience with buckers) and then exercises out on trail. Well, it got a little better, but each time we went out alone it was a fight. I could get him to go where I wanted but both of us would end up frustrated. I didn't want to give up on him so I kept going.
    But on trail yesterday with my friend I came to the realization that it just wasn't worth it. He's really happy being a livery horse. He's 13 years old and being a trail horse in a string is all he knows. He really didn't want to be the horse that I could take out on trail and work in the arena. I still feel a little guilty, like maybe I just copped out on him. But I'm also trying to be better about knowing my limits. I'm just not as confident working on behavioral issues out on trail as I am in the arena (I grew up doing only arena work and showing) and when I'm out on trail I want a horse that wants to be out as well. I want to have fun.
    So I talked to the owner and she understood completely and I'm trying out another guy who's still got some spunk, but isn't bothered going out by himself.
    So I hope I'm not rambling. I guess I just realized that I want my riding time to be fun as well as challenging, especially since I'm an adult now and riding is really my only down time.
    Anyone else had that guilt even when you knew it was time to move on?
         
        02-15-2012, 03:30 AM
      #143
    Weanling
    Good for you

    There's an old saying that there are too many good horses out there to waste time on one that isn't right. Sometimes we allow pride to interfere with common sense. You made a wise decision. What's that other old saying, "Pride goeth before the fall." Must have been a horse owner.
    RiddlesDarkAngel5 likes this.
         
        02-17-2012, 04:14 PM
      #144
    Foal
    Thank you for this <3 I think its about time I stopped trying to play the hero, as you put it, and put it perfectly. Its actually really reassuring to hear someone with this opinion, because people really do feel ashamed for having to sell a horse that's too much for them, especially when they were so excited about buying them in the first place and convinced friends and loved ones that it was a good idea. Its embarrassing when it turns out you were wrong and... it wasn't a good idea. Lol. Definitely what I'm going through right now. Thanks again <3
         
        02-17-2012, 05:12 PM
      #145
    Foal
    Sounds to me like your horse is afraid of going out without his herd, and doesn't trust you to keep him safe. Perfectly sensible from a horse's point of view. So you can either change what you do (eg ride with a larger group or in areas he feels safe and gradually extend), spend the time developing a deep and trusting relationship with him to the point where he will trust you to go out with just you (eg friendship training) or get another horse. Depends on your objectives, what kind of promises you made the horse, how much time you are willing to spend, etc. If he is just going back to a former happy home that is one thing, if you moving him on means he goes to a sale barn - that's much less ok in my opinion. Sometimes relationships don't work out, sometimes they will if we are willing to put enough in. Depends on your circumstances I guess and the answer might be different for each of us.

    :) For me, I couldn't face the guilt of walking away and breaking the promise I'd made to my boy, even though in practical terms he was far too much horse for a very inexperienced person. Searching for a solution is what lead me to an answer (the Friendship Training I post about in another thread) and I am delighted with how it is going. But the answer is different for each of us.

    I guess guilt reminds us of the consequences of our actions for another being; we have to weigh it up along with everything else in coming to a decision.

    Hope it works out well for you both,
    Regards
    Frances
         
        02-17-2012, 09:31 PM
      #146
    Weanling
    Ha ha

    I wrote about my new horse, "So far he has been a love; an affectionate puppy dog that follows me around. Nothing much seems to bother him. I'm really getting cabin fever looking out the window at the snow and slush when I want to be working with him. One corner of the arena has bare ground now. If it doesn't snow again it should be dry enough to use pretty soon."

    My puppy dog has been in his paddock for a month because of the ice. It finally dried out enough to work with him. First of all he almost ran over me leading him to the arena. I was lollygagging along not paying much attention walking in front of him which is a no no when he blew and bolted, he stopped at the end of the twelve foot long rope and kicked out with both hind feet. When I got to the arena and started to longe him in the only dry corner he was so rank I couldn't believe it. He went about twenty feet and started bucking and kicking like a rodeo bronc. It took me 20 minutes to get him calmed down. The next day it was more of the same only not as bad. The third day he didn't do anything but I could tell he was thinking about it. Then it snowed again, thawed and then froze the water. That was 5 days ago. Had him out again today after another five days and he was a rank s.o.b. Again. He has probably got paddock fever. The problem is that it's so iced up I can't turn him out. His paddock is 50 feet square but he can't do much but tippy toe around. I can't believe this split personality I am seeing. If he doesn't change after the weather turns good I will have no problem unloading him.
         
        02-17-2012, 10:31 PM
      #147
    Weanling
    I shareboarded on him. I didnt own him. Otherwise, of course I would have put more time into him. But he has a perfectly good home and he does very well at his day job of being a livery horse in a large group. Theres no danger for him with me moving on, except maybe less cookies^^
    I just felt like we werent a good match temperament wise and since there was no danger for him I knew that to continue enjoying riding I needed a xhange.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by FrancesB    
    Sounds to me like your horse is afraid of going out without his herd, and doesn't trust you to keep him safe. Perfectly sensible from a horse's point of view. So you can either change what you do (eg ride with a larger group or in areas he feels safe and gradually extend), spend the time developing a deep and trusting relationship with him to the point where he will trust you to go out with just you (eg friendship training) or get another horse. Depends on your objectives, what kind of promises you made the horse, how much time you are willing to spend, etc. If he is just going back to a former happy home that is one thing, if you moving him on means he goes to a sale barn - that's much less ok in my opinion. Sometimes relationships don't work out, sometimes they will if we are willing to put enough in. Depends on your circumstances I guess and the answer might be different for each of us.

    :) For me, I couldn't face the guilt of walking away and breaking the promise I'd made to my boy, even though in practical terms he was far too much horse for a very inexperienced person. Searching for a solution is what lead me to an answer (the Friendship Training I post about in another thread) and I am delighted with how it is going. But the answer is different for each of us.

    I guess guilt reminds us of the consequences of our actions for another being; we have to weigh it up along with everything else in coming to a decision.

    Hope it works out well for you both,
    Regards
    Frances
         
        02-26-2012, 08:37 PM
      #148
    Foal
    My first horse was a tolerant draft cross that although had bad training methods he was so patient with me and we learned together.
    The second horse I owned was a APHA that had been given to me. He hurt me bad and had some really bad issues with striking and rearing I owned him for a year and finally came to realize he was too much for me.
    I traded my sencond horse for my current horse. He still has some manner issues but he isn't like the second one I owned.
    Posted via Mobile Device
         
        02-26-2012, 08:43 PM
      #149
    rob
    Weanling
    Sounds like you need someone to help you pick out a well mannered laid back gelding before you get hurt real bad.
         
        02-26-2012, 09:48 PM
      #150
    Foal
    No truer words have been written by Justdressageit. Maggiestar essentially saying the same thing.. if your not a trainer then don't get a horse that's going to take advantage of you. I know as I ahve been there .. Now I work with a trainer regaining my confidence and trust. .. on a better, well broke, getting well trained horse :) I believe green +green = black + blue!
    rob likes this.
         

    Quick Reply
    Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.
    Message:
    Options

    Register Now

    In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

    Already have a Horse Forum account?
    Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

    New to the Horse Forum?
    Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

    User Name:
    Password
    Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
    Password:
    Confirm Password:
    Email Address
    Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
    Email Address:

    Log-in

    Human Verification

    In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


    Old Thread Warning
    This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

    Thread Tools

    Similar Threads
    Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
    Lacey "playing" in the sunshine! Wallaby Horse Pictures 5 02-19-2010 01:05 AM
    Clinton Anderson videos: "Gaining Respect & Control 1-2-3" and "Leads & Lead Changes" Velvetgrace Tack and Equipment Classifieds 5 09-18-2009 07:54 PM
    Definitions of "Green" "Started" "Broke" etc... Horse Hippie Horse Training 12 08-31-2009 04:00 PM



    All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:09 PM.


    Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
    Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
    Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0