"Playing the Hero" -- when to 'stick with it' & when to realize it's time to move on.

Thank you for your kind words..

I wish I could fix all the poor horses that cause grief to riders..

I love working with troubled horses and each one I sort of take on as a personal Challenge I guess..

The more difficult a horse is.....( the more mistrained, or abused or bullied ) the longer I give a horse to settle.

The things these horses often need is time.......... time to look around... time to actually feel as if they have finally got a home...a stable enviroment to grow and develop..

Patients....... quiet and non invasive approach... I don't get in their face so to speak....

I hear a lot of trainers and riders say they get in the horses face and demand they do this and do that... that's fine, but in my book this is bordering on bullying tactics..... if that works to you. Or them. Then ok... I am not here to judge one against the other

Patience is a big training tool I use.... never never do I use force... never never do I carry a whip, or use spurs.. I don't even own any...

Once a horse learns to trust and accept you as its leader, it will more than often be happy to work for you. And in time like for example Shae my Irish Draught, a once dangerous horse to ride... today takes me on week long mountain trail rides, sometimes up narrow mountainside, one foot wide tracks with no guard rail to prevent dropping off the side way down into the creek below... I trust him.. he trusts me.. We have a contract.... I look after him.. feed him. Keep him warm and out of danger.. in return he looks after me when I am around him or on his back... we have a bond... a 50/50 partnership...

This to me is what I aim for.... it takes time. And patience....!

I have grown to listen...... to what a horse is telling me.... and if you listen.... your horse is speaking to you as well.... all the time....!

Interesting subject. I ride alot in shows (newly on the show scene a couple of years ago in Western after having come from English riding years ago), and the number of times I have seen riders that are "over mounted" meaning horses are too much for their expertise or experience, and waiting for something to happen (which unfortunately invariably happens). Personally, I am not too proud to say, no.. I can't ride this horse because I don't have either the expertise or confidence to do it justice.
I am very lucky to have a husband (and some will know him on this website as Canterburyhorsetrailrider) who has been able to help me by riding my horses and get their kinks out. An example was my Appy Konnah. He's an awesome dude now, but I have to say when we got him he was a handful. Long story short his previous owner lost the "connection" with him, so he ended up being the leader. So when we got him, he bolted, spun etc without warning. Tony was able to ride him for the 1st 6 weeks and get him out of this. (and it was hairy to say the least initially fro the stories I have been told).. Then I got on him, and have taken him to being a great ride. He respects us. Accepts us as his leader. But always tries to push the boundaries. If I didn't have Tony to fall back on to ride him when needed, I can honestly say I may not be riding today. While his ways may not be every persons cup of tea, he was able to put miles on my Appy and that's what was needed. I have ended up with an awesome horse. He still tries to (as I said earlier) push the boundaries, but he is more controllable.. more stable. I know what I can do with him, and what I need to steer clear of -(he gets grass staggers, and spring/autumn here can be quite cruel to him) so I just adjust what I do with him and when. I fully believe if we didn't have him, and someone else bought him who didn't have experience he would be quite a dangerouse horse. (he has already kicked his previous owner through no fault of her own except for not having clear boundaries with him - unfortunately she got scared of him, even to the extent she would not go into the paddock with him - very sad)
I have to say (even after having spent alot of years with horses in between breaks from them) I attended Buck Branamans clinic 3 years ago. He taught me the basics of groundwork. When we got Konnah, those basics had been lacking, so the clinic coming up within a week of getting Konnah was a godsend. I followed Bucks methods - changed a few things to suit, but basically was the same, and what a difference!!.. I have since been to another once of Bucks clinics, and would recommend them to others. It gave me the confidence to know I could disengage the horse back end... and front end, and basically do what I needed to do with the horse and be safe. After that I could get on the horse, and also be safe, because I had the tools to know how to disengage the back end (to stop any bucking). I still use these methods to this day on my QH which has a tendancy to buck... thankfully not with me on board as yet

I think it should be added that sometimes life situations can change, making a horse no longer what you need. I recently had to send a nice 4 year old mare on her way (back to her previous owners, fear not:) because I found out I am expecting a little one. As much as I loved this horse and got along great with her, she no longer fit into the family as she was too much for me (sensitive and needs a job kind girl) to be riding while pregnant. Plus she does not have the personality (not very forgiving if you made a mistake) for me to be able to ever ride with my child. If my husband could have gotten along with her (that was a hate hate relationship lol, she was def. My horse!) and kept up on her riding, things might have been different..

But honestly priorities change when you have a kid on the way, and I had originally bought her to do speed stuff with, not haul around my kiddo.

we have replaced her with a big paint mare who has go, but likes more whoa, that when the time comes I wont hesitate to teach my kid on her.

Yes, I totally agree with you there Peppersgirl. I know when I got our horses, I had a particular lifestyle/situation.. however things can change unexpectedly - over here we had the killer quake to deal with, which is actually one of the reasons we ended up with a couple of our horses. Thankfully things have settle down now quake wise ("touch wood"), we are still getting them, but not to the same magnitude. Yay!!.
I'm pleased to hear you haven't given up as some would do, good on you. And also going for something more ameniable

I love these posts... I have had my share of the good the bad and the ugly of horse ownership but I have three horses that stick out in my mind as WOW I feel like I never learn my lesson when it comes to a long nose and hairy body lol
first off quick about me I as born on a ranch with parents that are old school as in now plenty about horses but no lessons are knowledge of the real way to ride so at 6 we sold the ranch and by 10 I had had 2 years of lessons and got an amazing horse not bomb proof but he was an amazing teacher and I continued lessons untill I was 13 and I feel in love with boys over horses and he was sold... then I found out horses are really much better then boys and I was ready for a new horse by this time I was 19 and though I knew everything though I had not been ridding in years. So I started looking on line and found a horse I though sounded amazing. I wanted a easy going horse I could do western and english and start back jumping on so I wanted a big horse ( at the time I was 100 pounds and 5'1) This horse was said to be warm blood cross roanish in color and perfect beginer horse. He happened to be close by and again I thought I was doing everything right. I met with the girl that owned him and she already had him out being lounged ( should have been a red flag) He was sweaty and she pulled him out for me to look at him I brushes him and picked his feet and helped saddle him and briddle him and he had amazing ground manners I rode him all around in areana out around and he was perfect. I said I wanted to come out again to decide so we sceduled a day. This time I thought I was being smart and showed up early He was still in his stall but the owner was there and she told me to go ahead and work with him on my own once again he was perfect so I took him.... she hauled him to the boarding stable and I took him out and he was crazy rearing freaked out horse I was not worried at all at this point and though oh new ranch he just scard. Well no two weeks later he is perfect unless you try to get on him then he runs straight into the walls and slams you as hard as he can that is if you can stay on plus he was 17 + hands. I calles the vet and trainers out and finally everyone came to the result he had been being sedated before I went to see him and also the first time worked till he was to dead tired to try to kill me. After being thrown off a few to many times. I also became scared of horses. The ranch owner was a old family friend and she needed a big horse to pull a cart so she offered me a trade. This brings me to my next problem horse lol She offered me a sweet 15.3 hand pure qh mare. She was a sweet heart she had not been riddin in two years but I could jump on her bareback with a halter and never worry nothing scared her and shewas amazing only prob was she had been with a stallion. They told me the vet would come out in three months if the breeding did not take she was mine. Vet came out and said no baby so I decided to move her closer to my house. Well after a while I was in the barn brushing her and felt something in her stomache kick me. YES kick me. I freaked called a vet out and they said no I was crazy she was not preggers... well she continued to gain weight and then all of a sudden she was all bagged up. Again vet call ( new vet ) and oh ya she was due anytime.. two weeks later I had a beautiful palomino filly. I had no idea what to do with a baby so I called the old owner and found out she had passed away. Well I ended up haveing the time of my life raising the baby and am so glad it was an amazing experience I kept her for a year but know I was no one to break a horse imprinting I did but that was were I know I had to draw the line so I had to sell her and it broke my heart but the mom was always amazing....I now only have a 13.3 hand mustang mare I was without a horse again for 4 years but this girl I got from a so called rescue but man I am so in love with her she take great care of my 6 year old daughter and she is a love to be with.ok this is long I do have one other bad horse story if anyone wants to hear but that one ends in a dead horse

Unfortunately, this week I just fell into the "time to move on" category. My husband, who bless his heart doesn't know horses as well as he knows cows, surprised me with a gelding this summer. He picked the biggest most fire-eyed horse there. He was quiet at the sale, but when he got him home realized he had been sedated and we ended up with a pretty big horse that was green as Dublin on St. Patrick's Day. I am not too proud to say he was too much for me, but it does make me sad. I do believe we picked a good buyer that will do so much more for him than I ever could. Though it makes me sad that I couldn't "love the crazy out of him", I have to be an adult and face the reality that he could kill me bc I don't know how to handle him. Reading this tread has made me feel better about my decision bc I see that a lot of those who move on, move on to horses they have MUCH better relationships with. I'm hoping for that ending too. :)

Fawkes, thank you do much for replying. I am so very glad, for all parties involved, that you made that decision.
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We also had an experience with a "problem horse." She was an Arab/QH cross that we bought as a yearling from a trusted friend. She was absolutely gorgeous, jet black with perfect conformation, but was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. She would be perfectly fine, then without warning would go into fits of bucking, or would bolt and nothing would stop her. She ran through fences, into things and other horses. My sister stuck with her for 3 years, hoping that through perseverance, we would be able to iron out her issues. The straw that broke the camel's back was when my sister was riding her in a show and she took the bit in her mouth and bolted. She ran straight to the gate and started rearing and pawing the gate repeatedly, trying to get out. The gate was only being held shut by a woman on the other side. We had taken her to numerous trainers, clinics and even had her checked by a vet to see if she had any back or muscle issues that were causing her pain but the reason for her bad behaviour remained a mystery. We finally ended up selling her to a very experienced rider and breeder across the country. I've always wondered what became of her.

I was just thinking, maybe I should stop trying to "make" my horse into a trail horse. She is one hell of a versatility horse. Does well in the arena. I've taken clinics from some of the very best there are. She's gotten so much better, but this poor horse just doesn't like going out on the trail. The journey has helped my horsemanship beyond what I can say, so no regrets. She will become the "fourth horse" so that my daughter and I can hit the trail. She'll keep my ottb rescue company in the pasture, and I stop trying to make her into something she's not. She was sold as a wonderful trail horse. She's not. She's been trying to tell me for about three years.
It's not just about riding a safe horse. It's about riding a horse that likes doing what you like to do. Whether it's trail, endurance, western pleasure, jumping, whatever...finding a horse that is a good match goes further than just a safe horse, Like any relationship, a good match isn't just about feeling safe, it's about the quality of time you spend together. The same care and thought should go into choosing a horse as the time and care you spend choosing a spouse.

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