"Playing the Hero" -- when to 'stick with it' & when to realize it's time to move on.

Well written, and I agree completely. I got my Belgian 3 years ago... have learned a lot... and he is a truly fantastic animal. I wouldn't trade him for anything.. in spite of having suffered a broken back (spinous process, T6-T9) and clavicle. When I bought him, I knew he was a project horse.... since he is my first horse, I was a project rider. At this point, the issues I have with him have to do with my experience level as a rider.

I Know this family; 4 daughters, "barrel trainer" mother, and a rich vet dad. They have so much money they will buy high strung, high performance horses for there 5 year old daughter. The horses are ALWAYS wayyy to much for the children to handle. Most the time while running a set of barrels, they cry through the whole set and have no control over the horse. And if they don't get 1st place, the mom yells or sells the horse and buys a better one. It's ridiculous. I feel so bad for the kids, 1 can ride, but the others have no control. The parents definitely need a reality check. When I read your post on how the horse are to advanced for their riders I immediately though of them.

Great post!!! I'd love to see more people read this before buying a horse. I don't think its possible to overemphasize how unrealistic movies and novels are about training and taming horses.

Though an older post, this is an excellent one, JustDressageIt, which gives pause for thought. My situation is similar. As a non-horse person trying to decide whether to keep the neighbor's 5 year old green horse here and learning with her to have a basic respect relationship it could be too risky for me. Some folks on the forum have advised me to send her home. The only "trainer" around is my husband who adores the horse but has no time to work with us. Right now I don't know who is more stubborn--me or the horse!

JustDressageIt: I really like your original post. I feel like there's more than just wanting to find the horse a good home, once you've realized it's behond your skill level... here in Alberta, Canada, over 300 horses are slaughtered a day according to rescue farm statistics. Even selling a horse to a good home, you never know where it may end up for the rest of it's life. It's tough for people in this situation I think, because they want to make something out of the horse to insure it won't end up becoming a slaughter horse - so a lot of people hang on to that "hero" thing you mention, because they don't want to face reality on the horses' future. I myself have been looking for a safe happy forever home for one of my horses (who I admitedly know is behond my skill level), but the matter of fact is that 4 years later, I still pay for this horse to hangout in a pasture, simply because I'm afraid of where he might end up.

I have never given up on any horse.However,my horses are family and I don't do shows.I guess that I believe any horse is "fixable" with time and patience.

Amazing post and replies! All of it is SO true! I'm the young kid in those stories...bu i'm finally coming to the realization it's okay to sell the horse if it's better for you and the horse. I hate the comments nonhorse people make tho when you talk to them about putting your horse up for sale. :/ But i'm getting thicker skin and caring less about their comments.

I am just wondering...how do you sell the horse that is too much for you if you can't show it to the potential buyer?

My riding level is more beginner now than intermediate since I haven't been in lessons for about four years now and don't have the money (with paying for college) to take lessons or hire a trainer.

The buyer should be the one riding the horse imo. Be honest in your description and explain that he is simply over your skill level. There's no shame in being over-horsed, we have all been there.
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I think that too, but I wasn't sure how this all works. What if the buyer wants me to ride him? I don't want to lose a sale because I can't show off what my horse can do.I've been honest with how he is and what he does and the buyer is interested in seeing him on Monday. I want him to be his best so the buyer can see it too.

I was put in a position about a year ago to to "help" a friend of a friend's horse. Turned out the filly was severely abused and not only didn't trust people, I don't think she likes us much. Long story short, coming to the decision to find a home for her was not a problem for me (I value life & limb) my problem was the responsibility I took on to ensure new owners understood her issues. I find that people overstate their ability and/or understate the problem. In any case, I found this girl a home with a very good trainer and while she won't be doing pony-rides at kiddie parties anytime soon, she trusts mankind a tad more. Thanks for posting!