"Playing the Hero" -- when to 'stick with it' & when to realize it's time to move on. - Page 22 - The Horse Forum
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post #211 of 225 Old 03-15-2013, 11:44 PM
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ok...it's like this thread was made for me. I started riding again in my late 40s and joined a barn. My "friends" started pressuring me to buy a horse. I always wanted my own but thought I would take refresher lessons for a year or two first. I pictured looking for a calm, steady-eddy horse for low level dressage and trails.

Well, the owner said she had a friend who had a wonderful purebred Arab that had a junior show record (western pleasure) and I should take a look.....wait for it....."They would look out for me!" "Any horse can do trails and dressage is just ring work and he does that" "Riding him in a high wall closed round pen is all you need" "The friend took him out to ride and that shows you." "The horse will teach you everything you need to know"

Long story short, I put aside my own judgment and listened to those who said they knew and now own the horse. He is a wonderful horse but just too much for me. He is not forgiving as he is use to experienced riders only. He's goofy and attention grabbing, showy, and very, very smart. Which means he knows how much you really know.

Needless to say I soon left that barn and moved to a trainer who basically worked him for a year. Not for him, but to give me the time I needed to beef up my skills on a lesson horse. He is wonderful with the trainer, working on flying lead changes, etc.

I do see him almost every day, we do groundwork, and have recently started riding him while leaving him in training. I can ride him in the arena but he needs you to focus on him all the time and really be correct in your riding. He seems to know when my mind wanders even just slightly and I'm not paying attention to my riding. He needs to be ridden and worked every day. He needs, and is happy, when he has a job. He's 11.

Basically he's still above my skill level. I love taking lessons (3x a week) and learning classical dressage, and will continue the rest of my life, but really don't see me competing. It will also take a couple more years before I can even approach riding at the level my horse needs me to be at. To be honest, I'm not sure I want the pressure either. I already have a demanding job.

Bottom line. Do I stick it out? If I don't, how do I find him a good home? Money isn't the issue....I'm more worried about finding an experienced rider that will understand him.

I do care for him a great deal and have seen too many riders who "say" they are experienced riders...or are...but don't know the costs involved, or have the money, or time, to keep a horse like him. I also see a lot of younger riders who lose interest, or lack time, once they hit high school or college. All would be a prison for a horse like mine.

Last edited by Horse12; 03-15-2013 at 11:54 PM.
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post #212 of 225 Old 03-18-2013, 04:10 AM
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Horse12 View Post
ok...it's like this thread was made for me. I started riding again in my late 40s and joined a barn. My "friends" started pressuring me to buy a horse. I always wanted my own but thought I would take refresher lessons for a year or two first. I pictured looking for a calm, steady-eddy horse for low level dressage and trails.

Well, the owner said she had a friend who had a wonderful purebred Arab that had a junior show record (western pleasure) and I should take a look.....wait for it....."They would look out for me!" "Any horse can do trails and dressage is just ring work and he does that" "Riding him in a high wall closed round pen is all you need" "The friend took him out to ride and that shows you." "The horse will teach you everything you need to know"

Long story short, I put aside my own judgment and listened to those who said they knew and now own the horse. He is a wonderful horse but just too much for me. He is not forgiving as he is use to experienced riders only. He's goofy and attention grabbing, showy, and very, very smart. Which means he knows how much you really know.

Needless to say I soon left that barn and moved to a trainer who basically worked him for a year. Not for him, but to give me the time I needed to beef up my skills on a lesson horse. He is wonderful with the trainer, working on flying lead changes, etc.

I do see him almost every day, we do groundwork, and have recently started riding him while leaving him in training. I can ride him in the arena but he needs you to focus on him all the time and really be correct in your riding. He seems to know when my mind wanders even just slightly and I'm not paying attention to my riding. He needs to be ridden and worked every day. He needs, and is happy, when he has a job. He's 11.

Basically he's still above my skill level. I love taking lessons (3x a week) and learning classical dressage, and will continue the rest of my life, but really don't see me competing. It will also take a couple more years before I can even approach riding at the level my horse needs me to be at. To be honest, I'm not sure I want the pressure either. I already have a demanding job.

Bottom line. Do I stick it out? If I don't, how do I find him a good home? Money isn't the issue....I'm more worried about finding an experienced rider that will understand him.

I do care for him a great deal and have seen too many riders who "say" they are experienced riders...or are...but don't know the costs involved, or have the money, or time, to keep a horse like him. I also see a lot of younger riders who lose interest, or lack time, once they hit high school or college. All would be a prison for a horse like mine.

So glad to see this thread and that you have a good head. Our first barn for James was next to a Arab breeder. This is JMHO, a first time horse owner should avoid the Hotbloods - TB, Arab, etc unless the horse is well trained, older, preferrably a gelding. I love to LOOK at TBs, but would never own one. Because Im older and DD is younger.

Everyone at our barn was ranting that James a Registered 9 year old Paint was too much for DD, and she was 9. For the previous owner he was a handful, bucking, rolling, rearing, stalling, biting. I ground trained him with her, and she started slow with just lunging him, and being ew/ him everyday. Within 6 months hes like a big dog. He still hates aggressive men. He threw me onetime, that was my fault. He is now retired and our colt just turned two.

We bought 2 acres and since then he very mellow. They take time, money, and alot of love. And like humans- sometimes its not a good match.

Constance Weirick
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post #213 of 225 Old 03-18-2013, 08:18 AM
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The horse I'm riding now is a little too much for me. She used to be horrible in ground manners, needing a stud chain and everything! Now she can be led, and will lower her head for the halter, but once you get on her, she wants to walk slow or stop. Only good thing is she stops square every time. I have great troubles in making her walk fast or trot. If I try to get her to trot, she will buck once or twice.

If it was up to me, I'd get training for her, or consider selling her.

I'm glad it's not up to me. I'm only 2 rides in and haven't relaxed yet. My trainer, who I love and trust, thinks she's a good match for me, and I haven't seen anything to the contrary, even if we both need more training.
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post #214 of 225 Old 06-04-2013, 01:21 PM
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I am in this situation currently and would welcome suggestions and/or opinions on what I should do. I purchased my first horse 4 months ago with the help of my trainer. To make a long story short, he has been in training for 3 months and still is not settling down to where I would like him to be. I am a beginner rider with 4 young children that I also want to be able to ride and be around this horse, but his ground manners are still pretty awful most of the time. He is okay under saddle, as long as I can get on as he is very jumpy, but very distracted and hard to keep focused. I don't think I can trust him with my kids at this point. I had him for almost 2 months before I even rode as all we did was groundwork. We are still mostly doing groundwork. My horse experienced friend thinks I should throw in the towel and look for a gentler horse that will be more enjoyment and less tears. I can still take lessons with my trainer at this point, but have not scheduled any training for him separately. Not sure I want to sink any more money in as there doesn't seem to be much improvement. My trainer comes highly recommended and I have seen great results with other horses, just not mine. Do I stick with it longer, or move on? The previous owner did say she would like first option to buy him back if it doesn't work out, but not sure if she will or not at this point. He is and 18 yr old arab/qh cross.
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post #215 of 225 Old 06-06-2013, 02:24 AM Thread Starter
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In my honest outsider opinion, cut your losses and move on.


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post #216 of 225 Old 03-30-2014, 02:45 AM
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This is my current situation. My 2yr old gelding has gotten over his "untouched, shy stage" to his true stubborn, aggressive personality and it's just too much for me as a first time baby owner. I hate to let him go, as he has soooo much potential, but I just don't have the money for a good problem horse trainer and it'd be in our best interests if we went our separate ways. Thanks for this post, it reminded me that I'm not alone and there's no shame in selling a horse if it just isn't right for you.
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post #217 of 225 Old 03-30-2014, 06:28 PM
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JustDressageIt--GREAT Original Post...and your others.
For anyone who has posted, "my horse is great, but_______"
I really wonder if you would be happy if that car you just bought did scary things to you...or won't stop, or switches gears unexpectedly?
The BEST horse that you own is the one that listens and you TRUST.
I cannot train everything out of a horse, so I've never kept horses that I couldn't train.
Selling a horse that doesn't listen to you is a smart thing to do. I fall OUT of love with a horse that proves to be trouble.
Your horse should get better and better and better with the training that your put into him or her.
You shouldn't make excuses and settle for bucking, or bolting, or any other disrespectful behavior.

A Jack and Three Queens, the latest book by James C. Dedman, Amazon.com
Hope that you fall in love with "Trot", like I did! http://www.horseforum.com/general-of...queens-617793/
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post #218 of 225 Old 04-05-2014, 11:26 PM
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This is a powerful statement. It gets me that so many horror stories are out there. I am thinking of buying a horse in a couple of years. Who wants to spend big money on something that can crush your dreams and your skull. Just the phrase "horse trader" has an bad reputation. I grew up with livestock. I've seen horses that I've just met that I would give a hug and jump right on. I've known and fed some for years I'd never turn my back on. I can't believe folks with no experience at all purchase a horse without any consultation. But they do.
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post #219 of 225 Old 04-10-2014, 04:43 PM
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Location: Spring Hill Florida
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Horse12 View Post
ok...it's like this thread was made for me. I started riding again in my late 40s and joined a barn. My "friends" started pressuring me to buy a horse. I always wanted my own but thought I would take refresher lessons for a year or two first. I pictured looking for a calm, steady-eddy horse for low level dressage and trails.

Well, the owner said she had a friend who had a wonderful purebred Arab that had a junior show record (western pleasure) and I should take a look.....wait for it....."They would look out for me!" "Any horse can do trails and dressage is just ring work and he does that" "Riding him in a high wall closed round pen is all you need" "The friend took him out to ride and that shows you." "The horse will teach you everything you need to know"

Long story short, I put aside my own judgment and listened to those who said they knew and now own the horse. He is a wonderful horse but just too much for me. He is not forgiving as he is use to experienced riders only. He's goofy and attention grabbing, showy, and very, very smart. Which means he knows how much you really know.

Needless to say I soon left that barn and moved to a trainer who basically worked him for a year. Not for him, but to give me the time I needed to beef up my skills on a lesson horse. He is wonderful with the trainer, working on flying lead changes, etc.

I do see him almost every day, we do groundwork, and have recently started riding him while leaving him in training. I can ride him in the arena but he needs you to focus on him all the time and really be correct in your riding. He seems to know when my mind wanders even just slightly and I'm not paying attention to my riding. He needs to be ridden and worked every day. He needs, and is happy, when he has a job. He's 11.

Basically he's still above my skill level. I love taking lessons (3x a week) and learning classical dressage, and will continue the rest of my life, but really don't see me competing. It will also take a couple more years before I can even approach riding at the level my horse needs me to be at. To be honest, I'm not sure I want the pressure either. I already have a demanding job.

Bottom line. Do I stick it out? If I don't, how do I find him a good home? Money isn't the issue....I'm more worried about finding an experienced rider that will understand him.

I do care for him a great deal and have seen too many riders who "say" they are experienced riders...or are...but don't know the costs involved, or have the money, or time, to keep a horse like him. I also see a lot of younger riders who lose interest, or lack time, once they hit high school or college. All would be a prison for a horse like mine.

It will not be any fun in the future when you have to feel that your horse needs to be ridden every day. Pressure. Also that race to get where you feel experienced with him. I see far too many riders with money own horses that their trainer rides, they barely ride the horse they own, and you end up on the side of the ring being "amazed" by someone able to handle your horse.

Since you have the drive to take lessons and learn dressage, I think I would sell that horse , someone that can handle him, and look for a youngish horse that knows less than you, and doesn't do stupid things. Like a 5 year old that you can bring along and not feel this pressure to have to match a horse's requirement of a very experienced person. This is about fun .
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post #220 of 225 Old 04-10-2014, 04:49 PM
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Location: Spring Hill Florida
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Last week I went to trim someone's horses. It turned out to be a couple in their 60's that bought 2 mares which were fine. Then they buy a stallion and end up with 2 babies. The baby that is 3yrs old now is way beyond their ability to handle her. She absolutely refuses to have her hind legs touched. She rears, kicks, bucks, and strikes. The husband needs a cane to walk with!

None of the horses had had their feet cleaned out in months. It's not only about a trainer making the horse behave. It's about working with the horse daily to keep the training going. They're not capable. I told them so. They will get hurt.
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