"Playing the Hero" -- when to 'stick with it' & when to realize it's time to move on. - Page 6

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"Playing the Hero" -- when to 'stick with it' & when to realize it's time to move on.

This is a discussion on "Playing the Hero" -- when to 'stick with it' & when to realize it's time to move on. within the Horse Training forums, part of the Training Horses category

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    02-18-2011, 09:54 PM
IMHO, this thread is completely worthy of a sticky.

Love it Allie, wonderfully written (even though I missed it the first time around).
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    02-18-2011, 10:15 PM
Originally Posted by smrobs    
IMHO, this thread is completely worthy of a sticky.

Love it Allie, wonderfully written (even though I missed it the first time around).

Thanks! If the Mods want to sticky it, that's fine by me :)
    02-18-2011, 10:21 PM
There you go ladies...I find it stick worthy as well ...couldn't stick it last year since I wasn't a mod yet...Lol!
    02-18-2011, 10:25 PM
Thank you! I'm honored.
    02-19-2011, 11:36 AM
When to stick with it: bruises

When to move on: fractures
    02-19-2011, 11:55 AM
Oh my gosh, SLC, too funny (but not really funny...if you know what I mean). I would also add it's time to move on: Concussion. From personal experience...
    02-21-2011, 04:38 PM
Hey, great thread, JDI :) My sister and I got our first horse when we were 13 and 14... and it was a learning curve for all 3 of us. She was a 14 YO morab mare, and would have made a great pet (except that she always escaped if she was alone), or a great trail horse (except that she wouldn't go by herself and spooked at everything big or noisy), or been a good lesson horse (except that she was lazy as hell). If anything, I was underhorsed. But my parents didn't want to get a second horse, and my sister wouldn't part with her. Not even the next year, when she started high school and pretty much stopped riding. Not the year after that... etc. Until we'd had her for 5 years (the last of which she was leased out to our coach for a lesson horse) and I stopped taking care of her. This wasn't a failing to let go and being in personal danger issue... this was just failing to let go period. And I now I see her doing the same thing, where she is in a caretaker relationship with an alcoholic, and raising his 3 kids from a previous marriage. I know this is a horse thread - but it's also a human nature issue. Some of us just don't have the ability to give up and let go, no matter how futile and self-destructive our efforts become. Unfortunately, the longer we go on these situations, the greater the personal damage can become. With horses, it can mean broken bones, broken spirits, and usually losing the desire to ride alltogether. And with horses and the other things we can't let go of... we have to take a "fall". We have to admit that yes, we were wrong, we couldn't change the situation, and yes, we failed. And we have to have enough self-esteem to accept ourselves afterward and move on in pursuing what makes us happy - whether that's fresh start with a different horse, or a completely new path in life.

Thanks everyone that shared their stories in this thread :)
    02-21-2011, 05:34 PM
This is indeed a very good article. I can say myself that I have the same problem that alot of other horse owners have. But it wasn't intirely my fault, because it was my parents who had little experience and got me the horse. Not that I'm saying I am mad at them for making my dream come true, but I probably should have gotten a more broke horse. :3

I started out with a 3 year old gelding, I worked with him before we even owned him. We started him at about 2 years, and I was about 8 years old. Now a tall chubby 8 year old is probably not going to fair well against a greenbroke young gelding and a trainer who doesn't have very good methods.

But of course, I got way to attached. Fell off twice before we switched trainers. But now it is working amazingly. This new trainer shows me a way to work with him, and I can really see his personality and intellegence. He still acts like a bratty teenager most of the time, and will test my patience, but he is far from where he was. I still probably should get a different horse because now I'm so terrified of riding him it's pathetic. We got another horse so he's pretty "herdbound," so that's made him even naughtier. So there is about a thousand problems with our two horses, but I still don't want to give up on him. I guess I'm just a stubborn person, but at least in the last four years I've made some progress with him.

I'm sort of an example of what not to do. Dx Oh well, at least this way I can give people some advice as to what to do. I do see myself with horses in my future, at least I hope to god I can have my own farm and be able to train horses for people, aswell as train people. :3
    02-22-2011, 10:06 PM
Wow awesome post's everyone! Really opened my eyes and made my resolve 200% stronger!! My hubby has been harping about buying a foal versus a 4-7 yr old, gist of it is, we can train it, it will be used to only us blablabla...yadayada..well you all get it lol. I'm no trainer, neither is my husband lol, and I don't want to pour buckets of cash into a foal,nor do I want to ruin him either. So yeah 4-7 yr olds here I come, ty all for your great posts !!
    02-24-2011, 09:01 AM
Lady, Nicely written with oodles of common sense.

The problem arises not just with the horse that is out of control but also when the horse's capability exceeds that of the rider.

The underlying problem is that when we go out to buy the horse and bring it into our families sometimes we don't see the reality of what the horse represents - and we don't find out for a few months that we have made a mistake.

At best buying a horse is a 50/50 scenario, either we buy the horse which proves to be suitable or we buy the horse which proves to be unsuitable.

Sadly I can't see a workable answer to what must be a recurring problem.

I repeat, JDI, nicely written.


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