Otherwise... Are her ears this or this?? The difference is the first link is a tense (but not angry) horse. The second is obviously angry! As of late I've watched numerous handlers mistake the horse's body language... there's more to a horse's mood than back ears. I also look at the eyes, nostrils, and corners of the mouth (see the second link for more comparison).
And in closing... Just remember:
If you don't understand it, neither will your horse.
I wouldn't suggest trying any sort of training until you understand what it is, how it's done (properly), and what it's supposed to do.
Horses respect a leader, not a friend, with constant leadership comes trust, and with trust comes a partnership, not an equal one, but a partnership never the less.
My suggestion work first with a real life trainer, one who can keep you safe and deal with the issues you have now, when working with horses there simply is no substituting for having someone there to translate for you as and when things happen. Later when you have the basic skills that you need that's when you can decide to follow different paths.
Originally Posted by usandpets
Back to the OP: you want to "click" with your horse. Do ground work with your horse. Get your horse to move in your control. This would be the same as she does to the other horses. As for her food aggression, when she's in the pasture she can behave however she wants. When she is with you she needs to behave.
I've highlighted all of the parts I definitely agree with, and what I think are the most important key concepts.
We had a mare like this at a therapeutic riding center. She had terrible ground manners in the wrong hands.
When I handled her, and I am not a professional or even that experienced, she was an angel. Why? Because I didn't stand for her games.
If she pinned her ears at me, she'd get one warning before I made her work work work. And after about a week of me handling her (this was the first time) she was the sweetest most amazing mare on ground or in saddle. And keep in mind I'm not an amazing rider or anything, she was just that tolerable.
I made her listen. I was the herd leader, and lead mare, and big cahoona. Not her. And I made sure she knew it.
I wasn't mean to her, I was stern.. like a parent telling their kids not to touch the hot stove. But I also praised her when she did well.
It's all about balance. Stop trying to bond with her.. try being more of a leader. She pins her ears, do something about it. If you pick up a hoof and she tries to slam it down, do something about it! If she's being an idiot in the crossties (idiot is used loosely.. it could mean biting or dancing or leaning or whatever she's doing... ) do something about it!
Pretty soon you will notice she is acting differently. Hopefully better than before you started. That's when you start the bonding process.
You can bribe a horse with as MANY cookies and treats as you want, it won't make them like you. Stepping up and being a leader will.
And do NOT baby this horse. Don't love on her until she has utmost respect for both you AND your wife. She may be adorable or whatever, but she's a very heavy, fast, strong, intelligent creature that WILL hurt you, especially if she's sweet on staying herd leader.