She is a well-trained mare that you gradually let get more and more in control of your relationship. Instead of you being the lead horse in your herd of two (you and her), you are waaaay down the pecking order -- you are at the bottom of it -- as far down as you can go.
The very first time she showed any tiniest bit of disrespect, she found out there were no consequences. So, she 'pushed' a little harder -- and you backed off. So she pushed a little harder -- and you backed off completely. Now, you are just trying to stay alive in her presence -- where she is completely in charge.
There is no mystery in it. She is just being a horse and you have faild as a herd leader. Have you ever seen a horse at the bottom of the pecking order in a herd of horses? They have bite mark and chunks missing all over. They are driven from the feed. They are driven from the middle of the herd and are barely allowed to exist on the fringe edge of the herd. That is where you are. If you do not learn how to gain respect and re-gain your rightful place as the leader. she will get increasingly mean and will, indeed, become dangerous.
If you do not know these things and do not understand how to interact with a horse to become the leader of the herd, you need to find a trainer or a mentor that can help you. At this point you do not know what you do not know.
If you want to try to explore DVDs, Clinton Anderson has a very good set of them on 'respect'. That would be a good place to start. Without a horse's complete and total respect, they can be a big and very dangerous animal to be around. Some horses are quite 'timid ' and subordinate by nature. Others are very dominant and need to be kept in their proper place in every relationship. Yours is a dominant horse by nature and you are the perfect subordination herd member.
And, by the way, what you feed and how your care and treat your horse does not have any effect on your relationship with your horse. It is totally determined by how you interact with her, what behavior you accept and what behavior you correct her for and do not accept.
Last edited by Cherie; 10-22-2011 at 08:36 AM.