Thank you guys all soo much for replying, it means so much to me to hear your advice and be able to learn from other peoples expierience and knowledge, its really helped to hear all these different views.
First of all I want to say thank you to Barry Godden for your reply, it was amazing to read what you wrote and how intune it sounds as if you are with horses, and the bond you are growing to have with your mare.
I totally understand everything (pretty much) you wrote, I posted this post after a day down the stables with my mare when shed been particularly tempramental and it just got me down, like you guessed right, I expected out bond to just 'click' from the moment I got her, and it didnt. I have always been close to geldings, never have I had a relationship with a mare as they were never the horses I rode, so having had my mare I have realised the complete different in personalities just because of her sex, and I need to get to know her, and gain her trust. I realise now how little time has passed since I've got april, and how long it does take for many horses to really start to get to know their owner and I understand that I need to give it time, patience and firm but kind caring for my mare, and I do hope that our relationship sucessfully grows in the future, I am looking forward to it and she definitely deserves my time and effort as she is a star.
To answer your questions, she is a dominant mare in her field, despite being the new horse she is in charge of her field, and in fact many of the horses in the neighboring field, so perhaphs she IS being dominant around me too?!
She does have new tack, a new bridle, saddle and bit, all of which do fit her well but I guess its another change she is having to get used to that I looked over.
Thank you so much for replying to my message, it actually gives me so much hope and understanding for the future and I hope that one day my mare will feel the same way about me as yours does to you, I believe they have some similarities and I am willing with all my heart to try get that bond I am looking for, and a horse who is happy and content, thank you
And to the others who suggested my mare might be in season, I do believe that my mare is in season at the moment, and having never experienced her in season before, it is a bit of a different experience but something I will have to get used to, and while I will not tolerate mareish behaviour because she is in season, I do believe I have to be more considerate towards her as I can't treat her the same as I usually have.
She doesnt get hard feed at the moment as she is living out, she gets a haynet to nibble on when she's in and grazes a sparse field so no worries about her getting too much grass, but she gets enough.
And milo, thank you for telling me your story, it does sound like were going through something similar, and I know the feeling, the horse you love and care for so much doesnt seem like they care for you at all, but I think it is worth giving your horse some time to see if they change, and like many people have suggested on this post, there may be reasons behind these unlikeely behaviours
Give your horse a chance, not so much as to be scares you and damages your confidence but your gelding is worth it, don't give him up that easily. I went down to the yard today and several things that happened gave me hope; I started doing the parelli 7 games with my girl and I think that if we persist, there really going to lay the dfoundations towards a respectiful relationship, and im really looking forward to keeping it up and seeing how things go. Although there is nothing wrong with admitting that you cannot keep your horse if he no longer brings you joy or is able to do the things you want, and I wish you the best of luck with him