Putting to much effort into getting a bond?? - The Horse Forum

 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 10 Old 12-19-2008, 08:24 PM Thread Starter
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,641
• Horses: 0
Putting to much effort into getting a bond??

I guess my main thing right now is my relationship with my horse.. I disipline her when needed but Im getting to the point where im like... I hope she doesnt hate me ect.... and that's what im always worried about.. I see all these horses that LOVE there owners like run up to the gate ect...

Well I KNOW me and chance have a bond and she trust me... but nothing more..

I think maybe im trying wayy to hard to get a bond with my horse and getting he to love me....... so maybe she's just getting tired of it??

Let me know if this doesnt make sense..
HorsesAreForever is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 10 Old 12-19-2008, 09:11 PM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,019
• Horses: 3
It makes sense.
You're not alone. I worry all the time if Athena really is bonded with me or not.
I figured it out while I was watching her and her best friend Neela. Neela is only 3 1/2 years old, so she's still a big baby and gets on Athena's nerves very easily. But even though Neela can be annoying, they'll still eat their hay and grain together, and Neela follows Athena around like a lost puppy. Athena bites Neela, but Neela is learning to respect Athena's space and in a weird way looks up to Athena. She's basically her big sister. So even though Athena disciples Neela, Neela still loves Athena to the point where Athena never gets alone time unless she's in her stall. Lol
Horses want leaders. Athena is Neela's leader. Eventually Neela will grow out of her baby stage, and will be more of a best friend than a little sister. :)
whitetrashwarmblood is offline  
post #3 of 10 Old 12-20-2008, 06:44 AM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 334
• Horses: 10
You cued that right on the head! There is nothing wrong with really wanting a bond! That is 100% normal when we are really attached to that particular horse.. I think many of us are like that!

Taking a leadership role, even when it means doing something many of us don't want to do with our babies, which is disciplining them, is where the bond is built. They want and need leaders!

Dixon's Red Hot Ember
Midwest Paint is offline  
post #4 of 10 Old 12-20-2008, 07:04 AM
Trained
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Orange County, NC
Posts: 6,179
• Horses: 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by HorsesAreForever View Post
I guess my main thing right now is my relationship with my horse.. I disipline her when needed but Im getting to the point where im like... I hope she doesnt hate me ect.... and that's what im always worried about.. I see all these horses that LOVE there owners like run up to the gate ect...
We often get caught up trying to expect human emotions (e.g. Love) from our animals.

Horses are smart, you can get a horse to run up to the gate to meet you everytime by spoiling them with treats, but that is not 'love'.

The most important thing to a horse is the safety and security of the herd. If your horse is social and relaxed around you just like being in the herd, you are indeed 'loved'.

...and lastly, especially with young, playful horses, some horse behaviors (like nipping) are associated not only with discipline or pecking order, but with PLAY, also. When our young mares want to play and no one else does, they will do everything they can to 'irritate' the others into a game of lets-run-around-full-speed-like-crazy-horses.

On the sixth day, God created the Quarter Horse.
On the seventh day, he Painted the good ones.
PaintHorseMares is online now  
post #5 of 10 Old 12-20-2008, 08:35 AM
Showing
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Greenville area / SC
Posts: 13,165
• Horses: 3
Quote:
Originally Posted by PaintHorseMares View Post
We often get caught up trying to expect human emotions (e.g. Love) from our animals.

Horses are smart, you can get a horse to run up to the gate to meet you everytime by spoiling them with treats, but that is not 'love'.

The most important thing to a horse is the safety and security of the herd. If your horse is social and relaxed around you just like being in the herd, you are indeed 'loved'.
Well put. When I read these types of posts I think about young riders wanting their horses to be more like Labrador Retrievers but they are not. The horse has a totally different psyche and simply do not think in those terms. Some horses certainly are more sociable with humans then others but that is the same with all mammals.

What I want more from my horses is trust. When I go out to the pasture to get one, the fact that they will come up to me rather then try to escape, is trust. They know that there is a very good chance that I'm there to ride one and they still come up to me - that is all I could ask for. Sometimes that trust is immediate and sometimes it takes a long time to develop. That is the difference in each horse and his/her past experiences.

I'm not arguing with you, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


It's not always what you say but what they hear.

Last edited by iridehorses; 12-20-2008 at 08:43 AM.
iridehorses is offline  
post #6 of 10 Old 12-20-2008, 11:15 AM Thread Starter
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,641
• Horses: 0
Thanks everyone :)

I think I just get this way because I know chances past [serverly abused] and I also feel like Im ruining a bond when I disipline her but I never thought about the whole they need a leader! Ill keep that in my head next time :)

Thanks again :) keep posting
HorsesAreForever is offline  
post #7 of 10 Old 12-20-2008, 11:30 AM
Showing
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: SE Kansas
Posts: 10,620
• Horses: 5
I think trust is more important than love. I'd like to think that Vida loves me. I love her, but I trust her more. If she trusts me that's good enough. For a horse to trust you they must respect you first.
I've had a few horses that wouldn't look me in the eye. That always bothered me, but it didn't stop the horse from being a good horse. Vida at least looks me in the eye. What she sees is a mystery Probably just the monkey that feeds her.


"Until one has loved an animal, part of one's soul remains unawakened..."
- Anatole France
Vidaloco is offline  
post #8 of 10 Old 12-20-2008, 09:13 PM
Started
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Colesville, NJ
Posts: 1,729
• Horses: 0
In my experience, a bond with a horse takes time. There may be a feeling of an "instant connection" but it takes time for the horse to really understand you, trust you, take to you, and become your other half so to speak. Just like with people, with horses, sometimes this bond comes quicker than with others. Not all horses and people have that bond right away, sometimes it takes a very long time - months or even years. And sometimes it just clicks.

It's very similar to human relationships based on what I have experienced, and some horses I've had that instant bond with, but others it's taken time and work. No matter how you look at it though the end result is great. And getting there means patience with both yourself and your horse, and giving it all time to grow. There's no rushing these things, any more than one can rush love, but it also take effort and work so it sounds like you're doing the right thing!

Life Without a Paddle...a blog about life out here, and great for a laugh!
TLC Stables & East/West Arabians
www.ewa-tlcstables.com
Are you getting the most out of your horse?
Equi-Eval.com
CJ82Sky is offline  
post #9 of 10 Old 12-20-2008, 10:51 PM Thread Starter
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,641
• Horses: 0
CJ that made total sense! Its true you can't rush things like that and... till I read your post really I never thought about it that way! Thankies!


Lmao vida you crack me up :P
HorsesAreForever is offline  
post #10 of 10 Old 12-21-2008, 12:36 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Fresno TX
Posts: 149
• Horses: 2
Wow, reading this has put more of a perspective on my relationship with my 2 guys. I KNOW Daytona trust me and loves me. He was abused and neglected and I really do feel that he knows that will never happen with me. And he has "opened" up to me.

Presley on the other hand, he is young, 4 years old. No history of abuse or neglect. And he is standoffish. So I know it will take a lot longer than the 6 mos I have had him. But I am also one of those that wants everything now . But he does look up to Daytona.

Thanks again ladies and/or gentlemen.

Just jump it!!

Horses lend us the wings we lack. ~Author Unknown
nascarcats is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Need a miracle, putting on Lbs (Help)!!!!!!! Blkjimni Horse Health 20 11-23-2008 11:57 AM
wowww ; never thought of a bond this quick . chelssss(: Horse Stories and Poems 31 10-25-2008 03:17 PM
What else can I do to bond with my horse? creepalurkin Horse Training 27 10-21-2008 10:00 PM
PUTTING ON THE BRIDLE purple duck Horse Training 7 06-05-2008 10:44 AM
weaing an putting weight on mare JJ RANCH Horse Health 1 03-03-2008 10:45 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome