Palomine, I am not going to reply to you, because I am not sure if I could do it without insulting you.
Just please go back and read again what I wrote.
Are we sure this isn't a improper fitting tack issue?
How big are you? (Or small, either way) How big is your son? How big is the owner.
I'm going to question the obvious. Do you weigh less than them? They may be causing a saddle to pinch if they are heavier.
Has this horse been checked by a vet/chiropractor/dentist to make sure he is completely sound?
I have no advice other then checking tack/checking horse for pain.
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Thank you. I am pretty sure this is not tack/pain related since she would bolt and buck when someone just put a foot in the stirrup, without even putting the weight on.
We are past this point. Working with other riders really helped.
It is possible to get on and off safely now.
I think this mare just has trust issues. When she freaks out she is not being disrespectful. She is super jumpy and acting scared. You can see the white of her eyes. Of course it doesn't help her rider is scared too.
I sold a horse for my BO this summer. I bought him as a 6 year old and did all the ground work. Dominant type, but no real issues. My BO bought him off me because her husband loved him, sent him for 60 days. He did great, nothing out of the ordinary, came back good w/t/c, soft mouth, moving off the bit, moving off leg, trail riding. Put a good summer of riding on him as a 7 year old, a tiny bit of buck/crow hopping after some time off in the first few months, getting back into a canter, to be expected, overall no issues. Went to the mountains in the fall, exceeded expectations with the BO's husband aboard.
Early the next spring the BO put a girl on him, she was in her late teens, spent lots of time in the saddle, was maybe an intermediate rider but heavy, he was one of the only horses of the right size for her that was quiet. We get maybe a minute into the ride and the girl starts getting tense and screaming at her dog, horse promptly bucks her off. We were shocked. She got back on and finished the ride. My BO, me, my cousin, another teenaged girl, and another boarder road him all summer. All were confident, fairly experienced riders. Didn't have a problem at all, he was great in all weather, at all speeds, alone or with others, even after a month off. Never offered to buck.
Fast forward to this spring. Bo had a rider on another horse while she was riding the gelding. The gelding was behaving, and was super quiet. The other horse was misbehaving, so she switched horses. As soon as the less experienced rider sat down, the horse spun, jumped up the hill and bucked the rider off. BO got back on him an gave him a serious work out, but he didn't try anything. We kept riding him and could get him to act up, even in very tense situations, so we concluded it was just an issue with beginners/ nervous/timid riders. At this point the BO's husband was riding infrequently, and they wanted a horse that could double as a beginner friendly horse for guests, so she decided to sell him. I advertised him as a horse for a confident, experienced rider, and explained to potential buyers that he bucked with tense/nervous riders. A lady bought him, he rode well for her twice, and her friend rode him with no issues w/t/c
Two months later, get a call, he started bucking on his owner, and bucked her daughter off. Of course we both felt terrible, but neither of us were in a position to buy him back, so could do nothing but apologise profusely that it didn't work out.
Some horses can't take certain riders. I had a filly that was the same, just hated my cousin for no reason, but rode perfectly for me.
OP, I think the owner needs to either get confident enough at a one rein stop to ride solo, or have you sell the horse.
You know what? I think this is the best advice so far; this is something I can actually work with. My client knows how to do one rein stop. But I pretty much have to yell at her to use it, when she needs to. It is not automatic, therefore still really stressful for her. Stressed out rider on stressed out horse will not calm anyone down.
I am going to spend several lessons just working on the one rein stop until it will become an automatic reaction. Having a control over the mare should bring her confidence up, which in turn should help the mare to calm down. Thank you so much. I knew discussing it with others may help. :)