You are having problems with 'anxiety'. It is related to but different from fear.
We deal with people all of the time that have anxiety problems; usually from a previous wreck; usually did not have great confidence to begin with.
In your circumstance, I would find someone competent to ride this horse for an hour or more. Have them lope circles, stop, back up, turn around, do many lead departures, etc. In other words, put some pressure on him. If he blows up or gets really mad, he needs some good riding by an experienced rider before you decide to tackle him. If he rides OK, then get on him -- that very same day when he is really 'warmed up' and ready.
If you still have serious anxiety problems, I would suggest getting a 'loper'. Many barrel racers and other good riders will be tickled to come out, lope your horse and get him warmed up for you when you want to go riding. I know 2 people that are doing that right now. Both are professional people, not real confident but love to ride. A loper comes out when they are out of town and cannot ride for several days and a loper comes out and warms the horse up on the days they want to ride, but they know the horse is fresh and has not been ridden in a while. One, I know, pays a neighbor ranch girl $20.00 to come over and ride her horse for an hour.
It is far better than sending one off to a trainer (especially if they are reasonably well trained to begin with), a lot cheaper and lets the horse stay at home and be ridden there.
Almost anyone will get on a horse without a lot of anxiety if that horse has been ridden in front of them for the past hour.
Last edited by Cherie; 10-24-2012 at 11:11 AM.