You don't need spurs (they're supposed to be used for refined cues not as a correction as far as I know), and a crop helps to back up your leg and is helpful. You don't need to use it necessarily, just hold it. But if you ride a horse the right way, with gradual pressure and calm and not man handling them, then you shouldn't be faced with these problems.
Maybe you are asking too much without being clear. Maybe you're pushing too hard. Do you feel frustrated after rides?
Maybe you need to re-evaluate how you ride.
I'm only a beginner.. an advanced beginner if I want to be specific. I have a very sensitive horse, who needs to be handled with sensitivity and respect. He doesn't do well with being jerked around, etc. Now say one day that he just doesn't understand what I'm telling him to do, I start getting rough, maybe he begins to baulk and refuse to do something and blows through my cues. I get after him and find myself growing more irritated by the second, which makes him worse.
Not saying you do that, but that is an example of what happens when you rush through things, throw too much at them, and then let your emotions go uncontrolled.
Break things down into smaller pieces, when your horse gets it, MOVE ON. Praise when necessary, correct when necessary. If you have to turn to spurs and a crop to get him to do lead changes or more advanced work, and you use them kind of rigorously.. you may be moving things too fast and your horse may need some more time.
Start at the basics, keep your emotions in check, communicate clearly, and be slow and steady.
If you think your horse doesn't respect you, a few minutes of ground work will reveal everything.
Best of luck
"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"