Ah you have kiddies, well that explains it lol I know I go over every bad scenerio there is in a situation
my hubby stayed on my butt to get me to let go of what if's, I'm a lot better but let's face it these animals could seriously hurt us.
If your trainer comes back and gets right on and everything goes well, don't take it as I'm the bad rider, take it as this horse has potential, then go from there.
I finally came to the realization with my gelding that I'm not at his level yet, I can't handle everything he throws at me and that's ok. I've seen strong confident riders, ride him and he looked so good but I'm not at that level yet. Riding should be a place to find relaxation and peace and as I like to say a way to competely empty my mind, almost like meditation
I just can't empty my mind with this gelding and he probably senses, my mind is all over the place when I get on him, so it goes badly.
I hope your friend can help you get over this hump