She's way too harsh!
 
 

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She's way too harsh!

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  • How do i tell my friend that she is being too harsh
  • Friend is abusing horse harsh training forum

 
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    06-03-2009, 12:27 PM
  #1
Weanling
She's way too harsh!

My friend (Regina) has a 7 year old Saddlebred mare named Dancer. They bought her from a barn that was HORRIBLE. They dragged her into the water, they hit her, they put weights on her, they never cooled her down and drugged her w/ Ace at shows and just before they saw her and ended up buying her.

But Regina will hit Dancer whenever Dancer won't do what she wants. And she pushes her too far. Dancer also has a rearing problem and Regina tries to make her rear in hand to show off, but hits her again and again when it doesn't work.

They were totally ripped off with her, but Regina's really harsh and mean w/ Dancer and I don't know what to say. Most of the time I ignore it (that's probably not right) cause I don't know what to do.

What should I do?
     
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    06-03-2009, 12:36 PM
  #2
Started
If I were you, I'd chew her ass out.
Your "friend" is mistreating a horse that's already been through hell for who knows how long, and standing by and watching it happen is not the right thing to do. `
     
    06-03-2009, 12:39 PM
  #3
Yearling
How old is your friend? Are there any other people at the barn that could help? I would also hope someone would suggest perhaps it is the wrong horse for her and give it away to someone who is a good trainer... or someone else at the barn that has more experience... she will end up getting hurt... she def shouldn't be teaching the horse to rear....
If you are about the same age you might approach someone a little older more experienced to talk to her so they can offer her advice. (she might resent it from you) good luck, nice of you to care :)
     
    06-03-2009, 12:47 PM
  #4
Trained
Handling this kind of situation is always hard. You want what's best for the horse, but a lot of times you will end up ruining your friendship by saying something. All I can give you are a few suggestions.

1. You can be blunt and tell her she is abusing her horse. Of course you can only do this if you don't mind taking the risk of losing the relationship you have.

2. You can also try a more subtle tactic and suggest different ways to get the horse to do what you want. You can say, "I bet we can find some trick videos online that will teach you how to have your horse rear," and see if she goes for it. Or you can say, "Maybe she will go along nicer if you do this," etc etc. As a side note, I don't necessarily mind if horses rear on command, but rearing itself is a very dangerous habit, and unless you really know what you're doing about it, I wouldn't encourage the behavior, and would try to prevent it.

3. You can talk to a mutual party and have an "intervention" of sorts with her. Tape her working with her horse and show her the video tape. You and the mutual party can explain to her how she is scaring her horse, and they would have a lot better of a relationship if they could gain each others trust and respect. It may not work, but it's something.

4. You can simply have a mutual party talk to your friend and keep you out of the conversation. Like a parent.

5. You can call animal control on her. It might not work out like you want, because if the horse is relatively fit and isn't neglected, they may not be able to do anything. The animal control will keep you anonymous.

6. Do you have a barn owner, trainer, manager or anything? Or is this just in the backyard? Any kind of owner or trainer should have nipped your friend's behavior in the bud a long time ago. You can even talk to her vet and see if they can look for signs of abuse on the next check up.

I hope you find something that will work out for all of you involved. It's a very tough situation, and someone's feelings are going to get hurt. The horse, though, has no control of how she is being treated. She can't explain how much it hurts her. I'm surprised she hasn't turned aggressive by now, but if she keeps being treated like she is, eventually she will turn on someone. Hopefully you can fix the situation before the horse gets to that point. Best of luck!
     
    06-03-2009, 12:53 PM
  #5
mls
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpiritJordanRivers    
Dancer also has a rearing problem and Regina tries to make her rear in hand to show off, but hits her again and again when it doesn't work.
I find it interesting that you comment on the rearing.

Your avatar is a photo of a rearing horse - I would suppose is you and your horse?
     
    06-03-2009, 01:02 PM
  #6
Yearling
Ha I noticed that too... I don't have any issue with someone teaching a horse to rear if they are totally in control and its a really wonderfully trained horse, etc. However you might want to make sure you aren't "egging her on" to teach her horse to rear because yours does, you know what I mean? Maybe even say "yeah I have decided not to have my horse rear on command any more, I just think its a bad thing to teach them" You don't have to mean it but maybe it will make her think differently.... she may think you are cool and want to be like you, if that is true than you can use that to your advantage to get her to stop mistreating her horse.

Maybe suggest some training methods, etc. Just a thought.
     
    06-03-2009, 01:14 PM
  #7
Weanling
Yes it is, but I taught him to rear and he knows the specific ques. Dancer rears b/c she's mad and afraid. Spirit rears because I trained him and I think it's cool :)
     
    06-03-2009, 01:16 PM
  #8
Yearling
I understand completely but do you understand that you having your horse rear may make her want to imitate you (sincerest form of flattery)?
Also this might mean she looks up to you. Re read what I wrote and think about it....
     
    06-03-2009, 01:23 PM
  #9
Weanling
She doesn't want Dancer to rear. The only reason I mentioned it was b/c yesterday, she was sending Dancer around in circles and Dancer got confused and reared. Then she wanted her to do it again b/c she thought it was cool. She just wanted her to rear that one time but I'm afraid Dancer is going to rear all the time now and then she'll beat the crap out of her.

We do have a barn manager, but he's almost never there since his house is like 10 ft away from the barn. He trains cutting horses, so he's always in the round area while we are in the barn or on the trail, so he never sees.

Regina's dad doesn't like it, but he's not going to stop her.

We're both the same age. I don't wanna wreck the friendship. She thinks she knows more than me, cause she's been riding double my years and she tries to tell me what to do. I don't think she'll listen to me if I try to give her advice.
     
    06-03-2009, 01:27 PM
  #10
Yearling
Oh darn I was hoping she might take advice from you, why won't her own dad stand up to her antics?
     

Tags
any advice, bad training, harsh friend, insane saddlebred, rearing problem

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