So completely frustrated with myself - The Horse Forum

 
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post #1 of 8 Old 07-24-2009, 05:22 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy So completely frustrated with myself

I had posted a thread here about the problems I was having with my gelding and me being afraid of him. I took him to the trainers today. Logan did very well for the trainer, he did threaten to rear up once when he was asking him to back but didn't. The trainer didn't find him to be dangerous at all, just very green. The thing is it just makes me even more frustrated with myself, several years ago I would have been the one riding him around confidently, today I was nervous just trotting him around in circles warming him up. My fiance wants me to just take him once a week to be ridden, but really wheres that going to get ME? I know what I want, I just no idea what to do to get there.
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post #2 of 8 Old 07-24-2009, 05:31 PM
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I think it would be a good idea to take your horse to the Trainers once a week. Sounds like he needs some work as well.

Maybe you could trailer your horse there two times a week. The one day, have your Trainer ride the horse. The next day, have the Trainer give you a lesson on your horse. That way it'll help you build back the confidence and you'll have a professional there with you to help if things start to turn sour.

This way, both you and your horse can continue your education together, and hopefully your Trainer can work through your horses issues. :)

...he's so kissable, huggable, loveable, unbelievable...
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post #3 of 8 Old 07-24-2009, 05:32 PM
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That has got to be a very frustrating place to be. I would say that the two of you are not a good match right now. A green horse and nervous rider/owner are a recipe for disaster. Is it just this horse that makes you so nervous or is it a general issue? If it is the former, it might be time to consider a change so that you can gain more confidence before trying to do the green horse thing.
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post #4 of 8 Old 07-24-2009, 06:22 PM Thread Starter
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Its the horse that makes me nervous. He's the type that's really really lazy and laid back... but then when something scares him he's really explosive and I can never tell when he's going to do it.
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post #5 of 8 Old 07-24-2009, 11:33 PM
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i'm kind of a nervous rider myself so I feel your pain. The problem is, he's probably reading that you're nervous and since he's green, that just makes him even more nervous in turn. Its a snowball effect. I would definitely continue with this trainer and make sure to just take baby steps until you feel comfortable. Don't rush yourself. If walking is all you can do without feeling nervous then just work with that and gradually move up with him. That's what I did when I started training Rocky (he was my first green horse). Whenever I started to get nervous doing something, I would just take a step back and go back to something I felt confident doing. Rocky then felt my confidence and settled down. The key is to just find you're own pace and continue to get help ffrom professionals. Good Luck!
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post #6 of 8 Old 07-25-2009, 12:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Logan View Post
Its the horse that makes me nervous. He's the type that's really really lazy and laid back... but then when something scares him he's really explosive and I can never tell when he's going to do it.
have you checked him for pain? Sometimes when a horse has fallen, been ridden with ill-fitting tack or for whatever other reason becomes "out" somewhere, a good tweak by a chiropractor or a massage therapist can "cure" a horse that is laid back but tends to be explosive.

He sounds like he can use some real emotional training. It's not enough sometimes to just go through the regular training route with the steering, stopping, backing up,....sometimes some horses need more.

I'm talking about some desensitizing, some spook in place lessons, and to really be pushed to relax/give to pressure when nervous.

Sometimes it's necessary to raise his emotional level and then drop it and raise it and drop it...repeatedly through proper despooking....to get rid of the boogies....to teach him to think rather than just react.

Also, loads of bending exercises that require lots of disengaging of the hips to the point where the horse moves that hip (crosses over in the back feet) by a light touch of the rein and leg cue.

All of this,...I'd get a trainer who is familar with more in-depth type training, rather than just the go forward, steering, stopping, etc... type of trainer.

Then once the horse has learned to chill out in the face of adversity....then you'd come in the picture and get lessons on how to one rein stop, how to handle the reins one rein at a time....riding in a simple snaffle....learning to speed up and stop the horse eventually with your seat first....etc....

He needs more emotional training and then you need to be trained on how to raise your confidence level. A good way to do that is by understanding horses (why they do what they do...instinct vs training, etc)....and taking lessons so you are confident that you can stop your horse any time (one rein stop to the point of cueing the horse with your seat first)....can do wonders.
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post #7 of 8 Old 07-25-2009, 04:32 PM
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I agree with the above. You could greatly benefit from learning some "empowerment" moves. One rein stop being the big one. Once you feel more confident about having the appropriate tools to handle a situation, be it a spook or a bolt, you will be much more able to manage anything that comes up rather than react to it. That will in turn bring down your own nervous energy level and that will translate into bringing down your horse's.
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post #8 of 8 Old 07-25-2009, 05:21 PM
Zab
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I've had this problem myself actually :) There is hope!

I bought a green horse (less than green, never had a saddle or anything) and started riding. Things went well untill one day the saddle slid under his belly during a calm (but unwanted) canter, and I shattered my wrist, damaging it for life.
I rode dads draft horse for a while, but I was a nervous wreck to say the least.. in the start I nealy panicked just by being lead.. however most of that fear disappeared as my wrist stopped hurting as much. Anyway.. a year later my wrist didn't hurt, but I didn't dare riding my own horse, and I easily felt uncomfortable on other horses. I nearly decided to stop riding and just play with my horse from the ground.

<then I met this trainer, she and I had much of the same attitude about how to treat a horse and so on. We started working more with him, first from the ground to teach him the aids, and then she rode while I lead him..untill I was brave enough to sit for a second. I panicked and got off as soon as he stood still, and he stepped around slightly, reacting to my fear. But we kept going, she rode and I rode some.. I did get better and evendared riding him on short trails. I concidered myself cured of my fear.
I wasn't, I got very nervous as soon as he did any mistake.. not very good on a hotblooded, green horse.
My trainer kept coming to me quite a while and give lessons.. on the lessons everything worked and when she was gone it was back to square one.

Finally I gave up, I had lost my will to ride him since I just got scared all the time, and he got more and more nervous when I tried to ride. I often jumped off quite soon.
I still loved my horse, he's a perfect gentleman in all handeling, we just couldn't sort this riding out.. so I sent him away to get properly trained and educated at my trainers place, 80 miles away.. He was gone for about 3 months, he was never a problem but she's slow and throughout I her training, making sure he's strong enouhg and knows enough before taking the next step, I went and visited and got lessons as often as I could (every second week perhaps) and somewhere along the way I realized that the last piece of my fear were just gone :) The last few days I stayed with him for almost a week and rode every day, with or without my trainer.

It's almost a year since I sent him away but I havn't gotten scared since. He's still a green hot, horse and can get nervous or ''runny'' but I'm not scared. My attitude and will has changewd ad I just laugh and try to show him the right way when things happen. I can ride him bareback in all gaits, ride him with a halter or with a curb, it doesn't matter. I mainly do trailrides, and I get him past creeks or horse eating garbage cans :P And it's all fun!

So don't give up, a nervous rider and a green horse can be perfect with the right help. But don't be ashamed for sending him to a good, gentle trainer for a while, or take lessons.
Most people thought I was crazy for spending 1500usd on a 500usd horse, but now I got a horse that's worth more to me than any other horse ever will :P (well.. he did that before too but..gah, you get what I mean :P)


Always keep your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level.


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