Ok I've thought on this Very long and very hard. I've read a number of articles regarding herdbound horses and I'm coming to realize every single one of my horse's issues are a direct result of her severe insecurities while she's alone and while she's alone with me.
I have 2 thoughts on tying her to a tree and letting her just sort it out.
1: this will force her to face up to her fears, look it dead in the eye and realize those fears are not realistic. She will learn to cope alone.
Well that would be fantastic!
2: This will force her to face her fears and she is not ready to face them, she will have a complete meltdown, potentially injuring herself and IF she comes out of it alright she will have an emotional breakdown and just shut down. There's no point in telling me horses don't 'just shut down' when they're scared. People have said 'they don't just shut down when being chased by a predator'. But on the contrary, in fact they do, it's called shock. Horses and most prey animals have this amazing skill, when they know it's all over and there is no point in fighting you can watch as they simply go blank with fear and often pain. Having been through a number of traumas in my life I know what it feels like to go numb, to stop feeling all that is around me. I do not want this for my horses. I work with a number of well broke therapy horses, some of them are loves and are perfect, others are just broken, they don't fight because they know it just isn't worth it, but thy are not happy nor miserable - just numb.
I do not know which of the two results my horse will come to if I tie her up. I don't think this is something worth the risk in my opinion I'd rather accommodate her than break her (using break in the worst sort of way, not the training way).
That being said I'm not jut going to give up on this issue. I am going to take a different approach. I have two ideas and I'm going to do both of them repeatedly and see how they work. If I have no results after some good time trying this I will reconsider tying her out. Now she has no typical tying issues - I can tie her up and do anything I want with her, leave her and come back, she will sit as long as I want her, so long as she's in a place she feels safe. This is the first week in our new home and she does not feel safe here yet. My goal is to make her feel safe wherever I am.
My to methods I'm going to try is:
1: pony walks. I'm going to put my mare in her field and take my pony out next to her field. I'm going to take him for walks around the house. This will have us walking within her sight for a few minutes then walking out of her sight for a few more. I'm sure she'll uproar once he's out of sight, but he'll be back a few minutes later. We will keep doing laps until she gets the point that he IS coming back and that she IS safe alone. I will practice this for a number of days until she doesn't even raise her head when he's gone. When we achieve this I will take her for walks. Teach her to be the one to leave and come back.
2: I will work on making the scary place happy places. There are a few corners of her field she is not comfortable. I'm going to work on making those areas more pleasant by using them for grooming and belly rubs and other wonderful things. I will progress this out and about when it's her turn to go for walks.
I'm hoping this works, if it doesn't I'll reconsider the tying thing - my heart just doesn't seem confident in that idea. I want to try less severe alternatives personally. Thank you all for your help and if Anyone has any more ideas or suggestions I'd be happy to hear!
Also I've called my friend, a cowboy type trainer (no not the buck em till they break type, the quiet mannered communication type) - he's going to help me out too.