You sound like me few years ago! I felt a lot of the same way with my gelding. Get Clinton Anderson's "Downunder Horsemanship Establishing Respect and Control for English and Western Riders". It's only about $21 hardcover and you can usually find it cheaper on Ebay or Amazon. It is a book of fundamentals, even if your horse knows the excercises, there is SO much information that is helpful besides just the "how to". It turned my "I do it because I'm suppose to" horse into a "I do it because I enjoy spending time with her" horse!
One is closer to God's heart on a horse than anywhere else on earth!