Suggestions Please

       The Horse Forum > Training Horses > Horse Training

Suggestions Please

This is a discussion on Suggestions Please within the Horse Training forums, part of the Training Horses category

LinkBack Thread Tools
    01-21-2010, 02:57 PM
Suggestions Please

I was wondering how do you tell someone that they are being rude/ disrespectful to their horse?

Heres the story.

There is a girl out at my barn who rides a wonderful but very sensitive arabain mare. I don't me like side sensitive but emotionally very sensitive. If you know what Im getting at. The girl and her horse have been riding together for a very long time probably 5 or more years easily. The girl came to my barn about 1 1/2 to 2 years ago and what always very respectful and kind to her horse but now Im noticing that she isnt anymore. She is not abusive mean but sometimes I think she walks the line.

Like the other day I asked her if she wanted to come out riding with me because we are the same age and I was going out riding anyways. Well she decided she wanted to ride and came out with me. We started riding and everything was going fine until her horse started acting up. Not like bucking rearing kind of acting up the mare was just simply hot because she hadnt been ridden a few weeks. So the girl you know just laughed it off at first but when she realised that it was a problem she needed to solve she started getting angry at her horse. She would kick her, and then if she didnt stop right away or wasnt paying attention she would yank her head around and make her circle (like that was going to get her attention). She would also jerk on her horses face to get her 'attention' back on her. Finally she got so fed up and left. It was just awful to watch and I felt terrible for the horse

This is not the first time that I have seen her act this way before either. When she is schooling for trail she is just as mean and thinks bullying/ beating her horse will get her to do what she wants her to do. Classic example of this can be seen every year at state when she starts beating on her horse during the trail course because the horse didnt to the obstacle exactly. Then the poor horse gets worked up because her owner is and gets even worse. She always leaves the pattern crying and jerking on her horse.

She ALWAYS blames the horse, gosh forbid its her fault. Her mother is just like that to. I hear her always telling people that the mare gets dyslectic and that it isnt her daughters fault.UMMMM excuse me but whos controling the horse? Whats really sick is that the mother is our horse groupl leader in 4-H and tells many impressonable people that story. Her mother also likes to talk down to me but that's besides that point. I know Im young only 17 and don't know everything but that I see I think is wrong and needs to change.

So after all this ranting I want to know how/ if I should tell them what I think?
Sponsored Links
    01-21-2010, 03:14 PM
Ask her why she thinks she needs to be so heavy handed! In all seriousness, next time you go out there say "Hey! Why don't we switch horses today and go ride, my horse is sort of boring" and then just ride and see how light you can get her mare to be. If she starts getting rough with your horse, you can stop and say "HEY! He doesn't take cues that way, try it like this" and then show her. Does she take lessons? Has she ever taken lessons? It could be possible that she's dumb enough to think that all horses are like the dead-to-the-world school ponies and need to be practically beaten to get them moving.

Have you ever suggested if her horse doesn't cooperate with her that she just....find another horse? Two hot tempers are going to end badly one of these days, and her horse will probably suffer more for it than she will. I personally happen to like hot-blooded breeds, I like the way their personalities are, like the mares, where sometimes she just loses her brain/gets full of herself, and needs some reminding. Of course, I'm patient, and once backed my gelding to the other end of the arena because he didn't want to leave the gate, and that's the only way he would move. Maybe she needs something a little less tempramental, or even just a gelding.

To me though, I would just catch her attention next time her horse is freaking out and she's getting rough, and show her that if she calms down, her horse will calm down sounds to me like she's scared of what will happen if she's not rough with her horse.
    01-21-2010, 03:25 PM
Thanks. I think that they are a bad pair too. Don't compliment each other very well. But I don't she will ever sell her mare. We both use the same trainer except she only takes lessons before big shows. And I will try your suggestions Thanks again.
    01-21-2010, 03:28 PM
Keep your mouth shut and don't ride with her. She isn't likely to change and you will only cause problems by butting into her business. Don't let her ride your horse either.
    01-21-2010, 03:38 PM
Originally Posted by kevinshorses    
Keep your mouth shut and don't ride with her. She isn't likely to change and you will only cause problems by butting into her business. Don't let her ride your horse either.

I agree! You worry about your horse. Let her worry about her horse.

If anything, I would be one to say "Man, I feel bad for your horse" if I see someone punishing their horse out of anger & frustration. That's letting their emotions control their actions when it should be the other way around.

A lot of people don't feel comfortable being up front with others. I'd just keep your mouth shut. Do a lot of smilin' & noddin'. And in the meantime, focus on you & your horse so you can lead by example.
    01-22-2010, 05:31 PM
We Forum members can only make a comment on what you write. To me
The story is only too common. Too many horses have the wrong owners.

The only positive message that has come out of this story is that you have recognised what a bad scenario this is. You have recognised where the girl is going wrong and you now see for yourself that the problem lies with the rider rather than with the horse. Arabs are known to be highly intelligent, very sensitive horses but for some riders they are the wrong breed.

A rider who gets angry has a problem and confessing their fear, which is the root of anger, is the first step towards redemption - but my guess is that will never happen.

What can you do to help? - well be there to pick up the pieces when the inevitable accident happens. Be charitable - after all you know what the problem is. Don't write the young woman off - she knows no better.
But until she confesses her fears, there can be no help for her.

I would never lend my sensitive horse to an insensitive rider.

This is presumably the first time you have come across such a scenario. It will not be the last. Too many people buy the wrong horse for the wrong reasons - but it is an easy thing to do.

Missy, keep your distance. Keep your own counsel. For as long as you are involved in horses then watch and learn. Listen and consider. Ask questions and then make your own judgement.

And whisper in the ear of your own horse how lucky she is to have an owner like you.

Barry G
    01-23-2010, 10:19 AM
Thanks Barry that was really sweet. I will some how learn to hold my tounge and practice breathing exercises. Much thanks to everyon who posted also.

Quick Reply
Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Any suggestions? justsambam08 Horse Riding Critique 3 10-12-2009 07:37 PM
Any Suggestions?????? teddyboy Horse Talk 2 09-21-2009 11:29 PM
any suggestions Nutty Saddler Horse Grooming 13 07-03-2009 09:46 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:43 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0