To those who read or followed my thread on sending horses to trainers... - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 16 Old 04-07-2013, 11:35 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 92
• Horses: 0
To those who read or followed my thread on sending horses to trainers...

I hope enough people will see this. I'm pretty sure the thread is still fairly active but in case people read this later, here's the link:
How do you feel about sending horses off to trainers?

I don't just want this to be one big complaint, but I'd like to offer a bit of explanation and hopefully curb a bit of misunderstanding. My first post was a huge mistake. I didn't realize when I wrote it how extremely derogatory it must have sounded to people who do send their horses to trainers. The replies were defensive but very informative. I talked it over with my mom and she was under the same impression that I was: that when people show and compete their horses, they're showing off what training the rider has done. We both grew up seeing horses as personal projects. So needless to say, I was completely shocked and felt like the biggest jerk of the century when I found out not everyone views their horses like that. It made me feel so stupid and gave me a whole new outlook on horses and how diverse the horse community is.

I would be lying if I said that I had always thought sending your horse to a trainer instead of learning to train it yourself is a good idea... and obviously that came across in my post.

We are all here for the same reason: because we love doing what we do and we want to do it better. We love horses, we're all in it for the love of horses in one aspect or another. The worst thing you can tell someone in this field is that all the hard work and time they've spent is pointless and insignificant-- that they are not worthy of their goal and they are stupid for thinking they could dream of such a thing. Even though that is everything I stand against, that is exactly what my post is saying. And people are responding back to me and others in the same manner.

So mostly, this is an apology to people who I insulted by my post. I never want to fight when asking for information, and no one should ever be insulted for sharing their opinions. I learned a lot more from the thread besides how different people view horses... I need to be careful how I ask about things. But also this is a kind of wake-up call to people who are following the thread (especially those arguing the whole "bonding" theory), people have beliefs and opinions, and when you say their opinion is garbage, it hurts. An opinion is exactly that: it's someone's opinion. And just like choosing whether you want to send your horse to a trainer or learn to train the horse yourself, you're experiences and perspective are going to shape what beliefs you have.

I hope that clears up a lot of confusion and will help explain the thread a little bit, since I know my later posts aren't read much. I can't change what I wrote, but I learned my lesson and I hope people who read it later will also learn what it was that I had originally started it for.
DieselPony, bsms, nvr2many and 6 others like this.
Laffeetaffee is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 16 Old 04-07-2013, 11:40 PM
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,772
• Horses: 0
Thank you for this post, Laffee. I've been riding for 20 years and I'm constantly learning and adding more tools to my toolbox. I love working with coaches and trainers and people with different opinions and views than me because it gives me something new to learn.
piglet likes this.

The lovely images above provided by CVLC Photography
JustDressageIt is offline  
post #3 of 16 Old 04-07-2013, 11:45 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: A good place
Posts: 5,960
• Horses: 0
Well you are just all right in my book, Miss LT. Good for you for coming back and writing this.
boots is offline  
post #4 of 16 Old 04-07-2013, 11:53 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: OK
Posts: 10,583
• Horses: 12
It's nice of you to come back and explain yourself. I read the other post and didn't respond because people were already starting to fuss and I feel like a) you should be able to ask a question and not get put down and b) own an opinion and not be put down and c) express an answer to a question and not be put down.

I have done both, had a personal project at home and sent horses to the trainer. I enjoy doing both for different reasons.

My home project is all mine and progress is gratifying and makes me feel good that the horse and I are working together. Conversely, if there's no progress, that's doubly not gratifying if it's the home project horse. But still worthwhile and educational!

I now mostly send horses out, at least for starting. I'm going to be 56 in a couple of months and the ground is not nearly as soft as it used to be. So, I need a trainer now, and I like working with a trainer and being coached. Sometimes it makes the home project progress faster too.

And sometime, even if I want to send a horse out, I end up doing it myself. I have a mare who has been very resistant to accepting the bit. You can put it in her mouth, she'll pack it around for you all day long and never complain. The problem comes with you need to TOUCH her mouth, like WHOA or bending her? Yeah, then she lets you know that she not only doesn't like it, she has no intention of liking it. Since she's a big, strong mare, and very opinionated, I've sent her out to 2 trainers to have THEM ride out her temper tantrums. Both men have sent her home as "fixed". Their solution? Don't touch her mouth......ever. Are you kidding me? So, this summer, we will be bitting up, working in the bitting rig and I will ride out any tantrums. I know how, I can do it, but I preferred to let someone younger than me, who gets paid to do these things, handle the issue for me. Guess not. SO, there's my project horse for this year, LOL!

Dreamcatcher Arabians is offline  
post #5 of 16 Old 04-07-2013, 11:54 PM
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Alberta
Posts: 763
• Horses: 0
Good on you Laffee, a humbled attitude will get you further in this world, you have my respect.
We are all passionate about our horses and we all do what we feel is right. Sometimes ideas clash but being able to learn from it shows maturity and a willingness to grow and learn
Posted via Mobile Device
cowgirl4753 is offline  
post #6 of 16 Old 04-08-2013, 12:09 AM
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The sandbox
Posts: 5,573
• Horses: 0
A mature respose, more mature than some adults on here including myself ;)

COWCHICK77 is offline  
post #7 of 16 Old 04-08-2013, 08:40 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,110
• Horses: 1
Just read the other thread and posted a response there (didn't see this one). OP, that was a nice well written apology and hopefully in future you'll take a more "please increase my understanding" approach rather than "this is the way I understand things and you are wrong" when you don't have enough data to work with. If you draw a line in the sand, especially on the internet don't be surprised if people leap right over it ;)

We grow too soon old, and too late smart.
DimSum is offline  
post #8 of 16 Old 04-08-2013, 08:55 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: AZ
Posts: 4,840
• Horses: 2
Understanding and compassion are good things to learn in the life journey.
Cacowgirl is offline  
post #9 of 16 Old 04-08-2013, 08:58 AM
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: left of center
Posts: 7,083
• Horses: 2
Good on you Laffee-may you continue in your equine quest for knowledge.
boots likes this.

Signature undergoing edits. Please standby.......
franknbeans is offline  
post #10 of 16 Old 04-08-2013, 03:36 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 92
• Horses: 0
Thanks everyone for understanding. I really made a bigger mess of things than I thought I had. I was getting such good feedback from my advice, especially on my lunging video, I think in a way it made me a little cocky and self-absorbed... I pushed it a little too far and in a way, I deserve this backlash. I should never think I'm smart enough to give out information everywhere like I'm some sort of professional trainer, or to put my opinion out strongly like that like I know everything about it.

I'm leaving this forum, probably going to stay off of others too for a while, and probably put my training stick and boots in the closet for a long time. It's pretty clear to me now that I really am just playing at this, my reputation here has been ruined and I don't want to whine, but people deserve their information from someone who is properly certified and has experienced all that horses have to offer.
Laffeetaffee is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How do you feel about sending horses off to trainers? Laffeetaffee Horse Training 145 04-08-2013 03:33 PM
Thread for Trainers (and others) - Avoiding Burnout FlitterBug Horse Training 7 06-02-2010 08:51 PM
About sending your horse to the trainers... Seahorseys Horse Training 7 01-22-2010 02:26 PM
for those who read my rude description on bluelovers thread... Ponies4Paige Horse Riding Critique 17 12-09-2009 07:58 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome