Trust and Respect - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 35 Old 01-21-2013, 12:30 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Saskatchewan Canada
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Exclamation Trust and Respect

I have been doing stuff with my horse lately, doing groundwork, and training exercises. Breeze has been doing great, but sometimes she will be really pushy on the lead, scared of nothing when we go somewhere she hasn't been for a while (Ex. I was taking her into her old pen to do some work, and she had a freak out, ended up not going in the pen) or bucking while lunging, pawing at the gate to get attention, or pawing when we are standing somewhere, or when she is tied for a great amount of time (10 mins or more)

I am having a trainer come out this upcoming week to watch me, and fix what I am doing wrong, but also...

I am wanting to not do much more 'training' until spring, I want to give her a break from all of that, and just work on trust and respect. The only thing I want to do in a 'training' sense, is leading and backing, and staying out of my space when unwanted in it.

Breeze also does not like me, or anyone around her doing anything with other horses, including just leading. A few days ago, I went out there, ignored her, and worked with another horse, and she was still loose in the pen, and she was trying to kick the horse I was working with. Another time, My sister was leading another horse, and I had Breeze behind her, and she was being very pushy, so every few steps, I would stop her, and back her up, then continue on.

After all the thinking and realizing I have done, I now know that Breeze doesn't respect me in most ways. She trusts me in some ways, but I want to get her to fully trust and respect me.

I know she trusts me enough to come to the gate when I call, and practically catch herself, but I want her to do this...

-stand for any amount of time without pawing
-lead without pushing me, or getting in my space
-stay out of my space
-back with just a word
-lead with other horses
-lead beside and behind me, and stop when I stop
-go anywhere I want to take her
-trust me
-respect me

After we accomplish this, I will move on to what we were doing which was...

-yeild hind quarter
-yeild fore quarters
-lunge at walk, trot, occasional lope
-side pass from ground
-ground drive

After she has complete respect and trust of me, I would like her to eventually be broke to ride.

I know I have posted a lot about Breeze, but for this post, can you focus on just this post and not any others I have posted. I really need people to listen to just this post.

Also, Breeze is not to the point where she is aggressive, and by no means does she want to hurt anyone. I just don't know what else I can do with her, besides get her trust and respect back.

I am not sending her to a trainer, because even if she goes to a trainer, that does not resolve our problem with trust and respect, she will come back, and be the same.

A trainer will help me when I need help, but other then that, I am doing this myself. I can contact her at any time, and she is glad to help.

Overall, the question I am trying to ask is, Anyone have any ideas on to gain a horses trust, and respect?

Sorry for the long post, but this is urgent.
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post #2 of 35 Old 01-21-2013, 01:00 AM Thread Starter
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bumping!!! PLEASE HELP!!!!!
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post #3 of 35 Old 01-21-2013, 01:49 AM
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I'm no trainer but have you tried CA's round penning for respect? I've seen first hand that it works wonders IF done correctly.

How I earned my mares trust and respect was rather simple:

I did not use a round pen or lunging but I did use the concept of CA's techniques. I am the alpha/lead mare. She moves her feet when and where I tell her. Key is to be consistent and firm. Ask, tell, demand. If you reach the demand stage then make it counts or she will just see it as nagging and won't take you seriously. In the herd a lead mare will pin her ears (ask) then threaten to kick, bite, etc (tell) and then she follows through with a bite or kick (demand). I established trust and respect by going for walks, touching her all over, picking her feet up, teaching her things like yielding her hind quarters, and just spending time with her. Trust and respect takes time to earn. Time and consistentsy (sp?) are the keys here. Make sure your rules and expectations never change and that the punishment fits the crime. Move her feet first. The moment you move away, she wins as alpha. Its a big game of chicken except you can't be the chicken so you better out bluff her or be prepared to follow through.

Hope that helps... And makes sense :)
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post #4 of 35 Old 01-21-2013, 02:46 AM
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I'm glad you finally realize what people have been trying to tell you about her not respecting you, and are nipping it in the butt. She is young, and will test you. A lot. I have no experience with youngins, but have a fair bit of time with spoilt horses.

Your job is easier with her being a clean slate. Kudos on bringing a trainer out. But, I think there are some training programs that include both horse and rider? It may help you to learn, fix your problems, while having the aid you need/want to continue.

I personally would not let her sit. But I also wouldn't suggest beating the same exercises to death, as it could sour her. I would probably do like say space awareness and leading for a couple days, then practice round penning and yields. Try not to overload yourself, either. Less is more. If she's doing good, call it a day. That's a lesson I had to learn. If you just ask, and keep asking with no release, it can sour.

Anyway, I ramble. I suggested before that when you round pen, make her go where you want. Not where she wants. If you want her to go right, point and cluck. If she doesn't, wiggle the whip in her direction. If that still doesn't work, get big and MAKE her move. You are her leader, her boss. You want her to basically do everything you say at an ask.

I found some youtube videos on a rescue mare working on round penning, and I really like how the trainer went about it. I will look and show you if I can find it. It really puts things in a simple manner and are in stages/parts so you don't get lost between transitions.
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post #5 of 35 Old 01-21-2013, 02:53 AM
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Found it!
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post #6 of 35 Old 01-21-2013, 05:07 AM
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You will only get trust and respect from your horse and achieve that when you have a firm understanding of pressure and release, good timing and 'feel' and understand why this horse does what it does. I have not read your other posts but clearly you have not asserted yourself to be higher than this horse and so she does what she does.
You need to increase pressure when she does the things you do not desire then release pressure when she does the things you want her to do. Great job that you need to realise that you need to fix yourself and I hope your trainer helps this horse by teaching you what you need to know.
Trust and respect will not come over night. You need to be clear, consistant, assertive and more understanding. Good luck.
By all means let us know what your trainer tells you.

Last edited by RQEquestrianCenter; 01-21-2013 at 05:10 AM.
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post #7 of 35 Old 01-21-2013, 04:20 PM
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Location: Columbia, MO
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Check out Clinton Anderson books and videos for gaining respect. I have one book I have used on a few different horses and it works very well.
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post #8 of 35 Old 01-21-2013, 06:32 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
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Originally Posted by DixieKate View Post
Check out Clinton Anderson books and videos for gaining respect. I have one book I have used on a few different horses and it works very well.
I would get the clinton anderson books and dvds but I cannot afford them right now, I am busy buying things I really need to help in our training, like a real lunge line, I am saving for a saddle and bridle.

I would buy them if I could, and I have watched a lot of his videos on youtube.
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post #9 of 35 Old 01-21-2013, 07:23 PM
Green Broke
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I am really confused at this point - you say here you are going to have a trainer work with you and your horse, but you also just posted in another thread:

Thanks I just don't see why EVERYONE needs a trainer, sometimes you need help, but a lot of the time you don't and you can do it by yourself.
I totally agree with you! I am going to be going to shows all over Saskatchewan (not like you... all over the country) but I will not have a trainer to assist me, and I am breaking my horse myself. I am training her for barrel racing myself.
So......which is it?
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post #10 of 35 Old 01-21-2013, 07:30 PM
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Keep watching the youtube videos, and if you come across an extra $20, here's a link to some of the used versions from amazon. Good luck!
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Last edited by DixieKate; 01-21-2013 at 07:31 PM. Reason: link didn't show up
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