My horse has recently not been tying well. He moves all around while tied.
Not a dumb question at all. Why do you say you know it comes from 'lack of respect' & being 'rude' & what does that mean to you? You say 'recently'. Does this mean he's always been good about standing tied before, or perhaps he's never learned? Why does he need to be x-tied? Have you had him long? If so, what's changed? What's happened/been happening lately? Management/feeding/environment changes? Working out why he's doing this will help you decide how best to handle it.
The cross tie behavior comes from the fact that he is nervous being in his stall
So lack of respect means lack of trust? How have you gone about trying to desensitise him to the stable? Remember, you need to prove
the stable is a Nice Place to be. Horses learn by association, so if you try to force the issue too much for them, their association will be with more anxiety, further confirming their fear. So ensuring you work towards the goal gradually & positively enough to keep the lessons at a low stress level will help him gain confidence in what you're asking.
Reminds me of my spider phobia, that I've been working to get better with... I can now comfortably put my face near the glass of a tarrantula case(with very thick glass!
), but I'm pretty sure I'd regress a lot if someone shoved a huntsman(probably even a small house spider) in my face!
So... it sounds like The Problem can be broken down into 4 parts you can work on, which I think separating them first will make it easier for him to learn. Teaching him to be confident & comfortable in the stall, teaching him to be confident & relaxed when tied and teaching him to be comfortable with tacking up(is he possibly trying to tell you something hurts??) & to stand still & not fidget when you ask.
As all of these 'parts' sound to have at least an element of fear behind them, so teaching them separately before combining will be far less likely to overface him & cause him to blow a fuse or shut down - which will also stop him thinking & learning. So, working in an area he's perfectly comfortable in - such as his paddock, you could teach him to stand still when asked, such as Saddlebag describes, and get him comfortable being saddled. So long as there's a good rail or appropriate tree branch handy, you can teach him to tie there too. Working separately - & gradually - on getting him comfortable in different surrounds, including his stable should also build his trust & confidence in you generally, so other stuff becomes easier too.