Bits are not kind or rough -- hands are.
Effective riders with educated hands can ride most horses in about any bit that is comfortable in that horses mouth.
I would hook up with a trainer for a few lessons on your horse and plan ahead for the trainer to help you with trying out different bits. [Every trainer has a wall in their tack room that looks like a store.] Let an educated effective rider help you determine if the problem is the bit (doubtful) or the technique of the rider. Chances are very good that it is rider error with poor hands (not quiet enough), poor balance (hands assist in balance) or poor timing (wrong time for contact and improper release for the right thing). What a horse does is usually a direct result (or a reflection - if you will) of the rider.