Can someone critique my ad? Horse for loan in the UK
 
 

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Can someone critique my ad? Horse for loan in the UK

This is a discussion on Can someone critique my ad? Horse for loan in the UK within the Horses for Sale forums, part of the Horse Resources category

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    • 1 Post By Comfortably Numb

     
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        01-25-2014, 03:57 PM
      #1
    Green Broke
    Post Can someone critique my ad? Horse for loan in the UK

    This is a bit of a long shot posting this here as not many people on this forum are in the UK let alone Shropshire but here it is anyway as I am desperate to find someone to share my boy! Also wouldn't mind a critique on this ad (this is a great place to ask!) to see if I am putting him across well but also be honest. Thanks.

    Quote:
    I am looking for a confident rider and handler to help me out with my horse. I have a job that evolves me going away most weekends and this horse just isn't getting the attention he deserves when I am away.

    He would suit an adult/competent teen who is looking for a horse to ride and look after at the weekends without the commitment of ownership. He is a TB/Arab and 15hh so ideally has a weight limit of 12st.

    He is very willing and enjoys work, can be cheeky but never dangerous. He is good to catch and had no vices, loves attention and being groomed. He needs a confident rider as he can be a little nervous jumping fillers and out on hacks but he is such a sweet horse to school and will try his hardest for you. I wouldn't describe him as a school master but I have done a lot of lateral work with him and he is capable of jumping a 3ft course.

    This horse had been my pride an joy for over 4 years now and now I have less time for him, I would love someone else to enjoy him too.

    A loan agreement will have to be decided and signed. It will begin at the end of March but I would like a trail period sometime before. He is to be kept at his current location.

    Please contact me if interested.







    Oswestry, Shropshire, UK
    Let me know what you think.

    Or, by some miracle, you live in my area and are interested!
         
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        01-25-2014, 05:07 PM
      #2
    Foal
    I would add age, stallion/gelding status and probably his name (to make it more personal). Video if possible.
    Hacking alone and in group or not happy with one or the other? Availability of trails close to the stable?

    My preference is to see prices in adds (regardless of what kind of add), but this is up to you how you want to handle the process.

    The fact that you are offering weekends is in my opinion a big plus (might expand your catchment area since your location is indeed not the easiest, but very nice - relocated from the UK in 2011 and though I have not been to the exact place, have visited the area).
    Technical points, but your job probably involves going away (rather than evolve into it) and I presume the horse has no vices (rather than had no vices, but recently developed them).
         
        01-26-2014, 06:23 AM
      #3
    Green Broke
    Thank you! Things like age and gender are on the ad in the detail (example - Preloved | part loan 3-4 days/week for loan in Oswestry, Shropshire) I will add details about hacking.

    I am actually not asking for any money because I feel they will be doing me as much as a favour as I am doing them. Is that normal for loan agreements?

    Thanks for pointing out silly spelling mistakes also! Sometimes it takes a pair of fresh eyes!
         
        01-26-2014, 06:21 PM
      #4
    Foal
    In my opinion some money at least shows a level of commitment from the other side. It really depends on the local market I guess, but here in Vienna (or in London before I moved) I have never heard of a free loan - that's why I assumed you would be charging something.

    Good luck with finding the right person!
         
        01-27-2014, 04:16 PM
      #5
    Green Broke
    I may charge them say half the livery charges if needs be but would want them to pay me rather than the yard so it is my responsibility for him in that sense.

    I have had a couple of people interested. One messaged me first but is now not replying to my messages back -_- and one seems pretty keen still so going to give her a chance I think.

    Thanks for the advice, I think it really helped :)
         
        01-28-2014, 03:02 AM
      #6
    Foal
    Agreed they should pay you - it is your horse after all and they are dealing with you. Offering weekends is also great.
    I checked on Preloved and there was another add from the area, which was listing a Swedish Warmblood for loan and was asking for 50% costs, so not unusual. Whether you ask for 50% or 30% or 40% - it is up to you and the market / what you offer.

    YNWA (especially today) :)
    speedy da fish likes this.
         

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