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post #21 of 28 Old 11-13-2009, 10:53 AM
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Quote:
"Hello, my name is [Name] and I saw your ad about a grey Hanoverian mare that was for sale."
I like this one.




Honestly, I think it would not hurt to include a link to their ad so they know what horse and what ad you are referring to. That way there will be no confusion if they have more than one gray Hanoverian mare for sale.
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post #22 of 28 Old 11-13-2009, 10:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thunderhooves View Post
SUBJECT: Your Mare
I would like to know if your mare/gelding/stud/foal is still for sale. Is she/he sound, UTD on shots? Is she/he OK with other horses? Could you send me more pics of her/him? I'm interested in her/him!
Thanks!
MY NAME

When asking for photos - ask for SPECIFIC shots. Legs, topline, horse squared on level ground, etc. Merely asking for photos is what a lot of kids do. I rarely respond to those requests.
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post #23 of 28 Old 11-13-2009, 11:07 AM Thread Starter
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oh, should I also add something like "if you could get back to me as soon as possible, that would be great" ? Or should I just leave that out?
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post #24 of 28 Old 11-13-2009, 11:35 AM
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Here's my assessment as a seller:

Your second draft looks fantastic. I like how you've included your age, but the style and quality of writing speaks loads about your maturity. I really like that you've included your parents' and trainer's information as well - to the seller, this alone says that you're interested, and not just a tire-kicker
Just a few pointers:
- Don't mention price or negotiate a price until you've tried the horse and are sure you like it. If I get an email from someone throwing out a price in the first email, I generally disregard the person. I want them to see the horse, try it, and then we can talk dollars.
- Don't be afraid to ask questions. If you're against having a horse with vices such as cribbing or weaving, ask the seller; no point in wasting your time and theirs to go see a horse that is unsuitable from the get-go. Just don't go terribly overboard ;)


Quote:
Originally Posted by thunderhooves View Post
I wouldnt do that [be formal]. I had my mare for sale and I didnt like it very much when people were to formal. Some scammers were like that to me. I wouldnt put your age until a couple more email, IMO. This is what I would put:

SUBJECT: Your Mare
I would like to know if your mare/gelding/stud/foal is still for sale. Is she/he sound, UTD on shots? Is she/he OK with other horses? Could you send me more pics of her/him? I'm interested in her/him!
Thanks!
MY NAME
Just for reference, I will never shoot down a person with a formal email, and I am twice as likely to entertain their requests than someone with an informal email like this one. Regarding the inquiry quoted.. I would reply, but in the back of my mind I would be thinking that I'm wasting my time.
Scammers are formal, but they're too formal, and often make really stupid mistakes (like "I am interested in the item you have for sale") and they're generally really easy to spot.
When I had Denny up on Kijiji for lease, I got some great replies (formal, informative, well-written) and some replies that I hit "delete" on as soon as I read them (e.g. "Hi I am intrested in ur horse! He is sooooooooo pretty! I havnt been riding long and don't have mony to buy 1 so I am hoping that you will let me ride him for free." I'm not kidding. I had more than one email mentioning "free rides") (or my favorite, I saved this one: "would you be intested in sell him" - that's all. No name, no greeting, nothing other than this poorly-written line.)


To the OP - good luck in your search!


The lovely images above provided by CVLC Photography cvlphotography.com
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post #25 of 28 Old 11-13-2009, 11:42 AM
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Thank you JDI, for confirming as a seller, that what I've been saying is what you want to see.

I've sold one horse and given another away in my lifetime, and the people who were completely informal, didn't give specific information, used ignorant, incorrect grammar or text speak, or who were obviously sending out blanket e-mails, got deleted without a thought from me.

If you can't take the time to woo the seller, and that's exactly what an initial contact is FOR, then you're obviously not serious about buying a horse.

Yes, it might be a buyer's market right now, but you STILL have to convince the seller you're a serious purchaser interested in their animal.

Lonannuniel, leave out the "could you get back to me ASAP". That might annoy a seller. Just thank them for their time, and tell them you hope to hear back from them soon.

Last edited by Speed Racer; 11-13-2009 at 11:45 AM.
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post #26 of 28 Old 11-13-2009, 12:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed Racer View Post
Thank you JDI, for confirming as a seller, that what I've been saying is what you want to see.

I've sold one horse and given another away in my lifetime, and the people who were completely informal, didn't give specific information, used ignorant, incorrect grammar or text speak, or who were obviously sending out blanket e-mails, got deleted without a thought from me.

If you can't take the time to woo the seller, and that's exactly what an initial contact is FOR, then you're obviously not serious about buying a horse.

Yes, it might be a buyer's market right now, but you STILL have to convince the seller you're a serious purchaser interested in their animal.

Lonannuniel, leave out the "could you get back to me ASAP". That might annoy a seller. Just thank them for their time, and tell them you hope to hear back from them soon.
Thank you SR! I've bought, sold and acted as agent for many horses in my time. I've seen it all, from the poorly written initial contacts to someone thinking they could come out and "Parelli" my horse around, and beat her with a carrot stick. (For the record, she was asked to leave the property, from what I can remember.)
As for your closing statement, I too would leave out the "asap" remark, instead I would try for something like this:
Quote:
Thank you very much for your time, I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
To be honest, I would be elated to get an email from the OP in the second draft she wrote for us. She seems very well-spoken for her age, and is providing me with hard evidence that she's serious, not just another teenage tire kicker.


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post #27 of 28 Old 11-14-2009, 10:35 AM Thread Starter
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okidoki, I sent out the e-mail. Thank you guys sooooooo much for the help
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post #28 of 28 Old 11-16-2009, 10:34 AM
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Good luck, and keep us posted.
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