Alright folks, step right up! You don't want to pay $4.69 for gas, no problem, I have the perfect vehicle for you. Needs no gas, no oil, or even a battery, just a little grass and water will do these animals fine. Now everyone has different needs, so choose from the following models:
1. Trail Horse - Your average run around town animal. Has the energy to get where you are going, the brain to find the best way to go, big enough to carry the normal sized American.
2. The Arabian - perfect for those who travel long distances in a day and try to multi task while driving. Although the Arabian may not go to your home or office with out specific instruction, it WILL go somewhere.
3. The Draft - Calling all soccer moms. This big guy can carry the whole team, their gear and snacks. Just like the big machines, this guy will require more fuel, and his shoes will be more expensive than the compact model.
4. The Western Pleasure - The right car for the high end white collar workers. This animal works harder and requires more special knowledge so only the best can figure this out. Be sure to take your cell phone. You won't be stuck in traffic, you just won't be getting anywhere fast.
5. The Parelli - Salesmen, stay at home moms, and high school kids will all enjoy this dream. You can load him down with flapping Wal-mart bags, ask him to walk in places a horse won't fit, and you can dance with him as you listen to the latest tunes.
6. The Ranch - The most dependable animal available. He will go where ever you ask him to, at whatever speed is appropriate. You can tie him to the stop sign and he will be there when you get back. Best of all, this model has been specially engineered to be able to go without water for days and stay fat and slick by eating sagebrush and dead prairie grass.
Of course all models are available in base colors (sorrel, bay, black) Special order colors are available (dun, gray, palomino) and for an additional fee, custom paint jobs are also available (overo, tobiano, blanket, leopard).
No horse is sold with a warranty, however maintenance plans are available in the event brakes, steering, or accelerator fail.
I can't go to ultimate horse site without looking at this very thing!