10 Easy Steps to Get in Shape to Own a Horse

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10 Easy Steps to Get in Shape to Own a Horse

This is a discussion on 10 Easy Steps to Get in Shape to Own a Horse within the Jokes and Funnies forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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    01-06-2013, 02:13 PM
10 Easy Steps to Get in Shape to Own a Horse

1. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot, don't pick it up right away, & shout "Get off! Get off!"
2. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "Relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet.
3. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without even looking down.
4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you're doing. They might as well know now.
5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt, smile as if you are really having fun.
6. Practice your fibbing skills. "See, moving hay bales is fun!" and " I'm glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won you first place!"
7. Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder, and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
8. Borrow the US Army slogan; "Be all that you can be'...(add) bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled."
9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience ."
10. Marry Money!

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    01-07-2013, 10:11 PM
This is hilarious! Ha ha. The "fibbing skills" really cracked me up
    01-07-2013, 10:39 PM
    01-07-2013, 10:51 PM
LOL I totally know how to write $200 without blinking... sheesh :P What has become of me?!

This was fun to read
    01-09-2013, 09:11 AM
You should add "Fill wallet with money and empty it. Repeat."
    01-09-2013, 09:14 AM
Lol! I was just telling a student (and new horse owner) last weekend to practice writing checks. Yesterday, I got a bill from the vet. How much? You guessed it, $200. (well 198 and some change but close enough lol)
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    01-17-2013, 10:47 AM
11. Have someone shove you over and over even after you say NO! While you continue to try and put a hat on their head (bridle).
12. Spray a freezing cold water hose against a wall while it bounces right off and back on to you while you're washing it and think,"and after this.. itll get dirty again..."
13. Throw a coin out in a field then go find it after you discovered its not with you (losing a shoe).
14. Put hay inside your shirt and all over yourself and sand in your shoes.
15. Practice tripping randomly (riders, everyone knows, are not graceful creatures on the ground).

    01-17-2013, 10:50 AM
These are too true!
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    01-17-2013, 10:50 AM
16. Take a 50lb weight and drop it on your foot while shouting "OFF ME!"
    01-20-2013, 04:57 PM

Soooo funny !!! And true!

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