10 Easy Steps to Get in Shape to Own a Horse - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 14 Old 01-06-2013, 01:13 PM Thread Starter
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10 Easy Steps to Get in Shape to Own a Horse

1. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot, don't pick it up right away, & shout "Get off! Get off!"
2. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "Relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet.
3. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without even looking down.
4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you're doing. They might as well know now.
5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt, smile as if you are really having fun.
6. Practice your fibbing skills. "See, moving hay bales is fun!" and " I'm glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won you first place!"
7. Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder, and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
8. Borrow the US Army slogan; "Be all that you can be'...(add) bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled."
9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience ."
10. Marry Money!


A horse is a mirror to your soul. And sometimes you may not like what you see. - Buck Brannaman
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post #2 of 14 Old 01-07-2013, 09:11 PM
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This is hilarious! Ha ha. The "fibbing skills" really cracked me up

**I must not forget to thank the difficult horses, who made my life miserable, but who were better teachers than the well-behaved school horses who raised no problems.**
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post #3 of 14 Old 01-07-2013, 09:39 PM
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I love my horse Cole
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post #4 of 14 Old 01-07-2013, 09:51 PM
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LOL I totally know how to write $200 without blinking... sheesh :P What has become of me?!

This was fun to read

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #5 of 14 Old 01-09-2013, 08:11 AM
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You should add "Fill wallet with money and empty it. Repeat."

We grow too soon old, and too late smart.
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post #6 of 14 Old 01-09-2013, 08:14 AM
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Lol! I was just telling a student (and new horse owner) last weekend to practice writing checks. Yesterday, I got a bill from the vet. How much? You guessed it, $200. (well 198 and some change but close enough lol)
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post #7 of 14 Old 01-17-2013, 09:47 AM
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11. Have someone shove you over and over even after you say NO! While you continue to try and put a hat on their head (bridle).
12. Spray a freezing cold water hose against a wall while it bounces right off and back on to you while you're washing it and think,"and after this.. itll get dirty again..."
13. Throw a coin out in a field then go find it after you discovered its not with you (losing a shoe).
14. Put hay inside your shirt and all over yourself and sand in your shoes.
15. Practice tripping randomly (riders, everyone knows, are not graceful creatures on the ground).


Horses are angels without wings!
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post #8 of 14 Old 01-17-2013, 09:50 AM
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These are too true!
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post #9 of 14 Old 01-17-2013, 09:50 AM
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16. Take a 50lb weight and drop it on your foot while shouting "OFF ME!"

We grow too soon old, and too late smart.
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post #10 of 14 Old 01-20-2013, 03:57 PM
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soooo funny !!! and true!
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