20 signs your dressage test need work . . . - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 10 Old 08-26-2009, 11:07 AM Thread Starter
Green Broke
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20 signs your dressage test need work . . .

20 signs your dressage test need work . . .
  • Under judges remarks she writes only: "Nice braid job."
  • Horse confuses dressage arena rail for a cavaletti; exits at K.
  • Your circles shape reminds the judge that he should pick up eggs on the way home.
  • Your serpentine was perfect, except that it was supposed to be a straight centerline.
  • Sitting trot has caused some fillings to be loosened in lower molars.
  • Your horse believes "free walk" means leaving the arena and heading towards the nearest patch of grass.
  • Your working trot had you working harder then your horse.
  • In your salute, your inadvertently use your whip hand causing your horse to perform airs above the ground.
  • Your walk seems to be more "rare" than "medium."
  • Impulsion improves only after the horse sees monsters in the decorative shrubbery near letters.
  • Your horse's response to the canter aid is "Can't, er, what?"
  • Your twenty meter circle involved jumping the rail twice.
  • Your halt took place in the judge's lap, instead of at X.
  • Your thoroughbred interpreted elasticity to involve trying to kick himself in the head with his back feet during the working canter.
  • Your horse entered the arena at A, and M, and H, and B...
  • Judge's comments include words like "unusual, dramatic, explosive, and tragic"
  • Leg-yields involve your leg yielding before the horse does.
  • Free walk was interpreted by your Arab to involve prancing, a rear, and a few bucks.
  • The judge asks you take the broken letters with you when you leave.
  • Voodoo dolls of your horse were found in the possession of the show's grounds manager.

"And somewhere in the northwoods darkness a creature walks upright. And the best advice you may ever get is: Don't go out at night..."
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post #2 of 10 Old 08-26-2009, 11:17 AM
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Hahahaha love it!!

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post #3 of 10 Old 08-26-2009, 01:33 PM
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Huh... sounds like my ride yesterday. LOL
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post #4 of 10 Old 08-26-2009, 01:40 PM
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Sounds like my dressage tests xP
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post #5 of 10 Old 08-26-2009, 01:54 PM
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Haha that is funny.
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post #6 of 10 Old 08-26-2009, 07:50 PM
Green Broke
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Thanks for the laugh Tempest!
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post #7 of 10 Old 08-26-2009, 11:23 PM
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That is great. Reminds me of my TB mare. She was a very pretty horse, but man practicing the tests was a comical event. She did actually decide to side pass over the edge of the arena (we just used small enough logs that they would walk over them for the rail), cause she wasn't paying attention, and wanted to say hi. And she did decide that the judges table (fortunately no one was there) were worthy of spooking at and taking off bucking. And in one lesson the trainer decided to play some music, and oh my lord my horse thought the boogie monster was after her. They actually had to turn off the music so that she could see that it was just a box on the table.
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post #8 of 10 Old 08-26-2009, 11:25 PM
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Oh and I forgot to mention that she was trained to race, though she never hit the track, so she had a horrible habit of sticking her tongue out the side of her mouth, no matter what we were doing. As soon as the bridle went on, tongue was out the side of her mouth, so every box had some sort of comment about her tongue whenever we did any time of flat show. Dressage, equitation, ect. Jumping was fine though lol.
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post #9 of 10 Old 08-27-2009, 05:47 AM
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I like it . Reminds also me about my dressage tests...

"On hyviä vuosia, kauniita muistoja, mutta kuitenkaan, en saata unohtaa,
Että koskaan en ole yksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Vaikka myrsky hetkeksi tyyntyykin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Ja pian taas uusin hönkäyksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Hei tuu mun luo, pieneksi hetkeksi. Puhutaan, varjoni, valkoiseksi enkeliksi."

Pelle Miljoona - Varjo seuraa onneain

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post #10 of 10 Old 08-27-2009, 05:59 AM
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Haha, best thing I've heard or read today.

It is not enough for a man to know how to ride; he must know how to fall.
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