1. When in doubt, run far, far away.
2. You can never have too many treats.
3. Passing gas in public is nothing to be ashamed of.
4. New shoes are an absolute necessity every 6 weeks.
5. Ignore cues. They're just a prompt to do more work.
6. Everyone loves a good, wet, slobbery kiss.
7. Never run when you can jog. Never jog when you can walk. And never walk when you can stand still.
8. Heaven is eating for at least 10 hours a day... and then sleeping the rest.
9. Great legs and a nice rear will get you anywhere. Big, brown eyes help too.
10. When you want your way, stomp hard on the nearest foot.
11. In times of crisis, take a poop.
12. Act dumb when faced with a task you don't want to do.
13. Follow the herd. That way, you can't be singled out to take the blame.
14. A swift kick in the butt will get anyone's attention.
15. Love those who love you back, especially if they have something good to eat.