Cows and Politics Explained - The Horse Forum
 
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post #1 of 9 Old 04-16-2009, 10:58 AM Thread Starter
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Cows and Politics Explained

I hope this isn't too controversial. If you mods think so, feel free to remove it. I don't want to offend anyone.

A christian democrat
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A socialist
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

An American republican
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

An American democrat
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A communist
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A fascist
You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

Democracy, American style
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

Capitalism, American style
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

Bureaucracy, American style
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

An American corporation
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A French corporation
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A Japanese corporation
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A German corporation
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A British corporation
You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

An Italian corporation
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A Russian corporation
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A Swiss corporation
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A Brazilian corporation
You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

An Indian corporation
You have two cows. You worship both of them.

A Chinese corporation
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

An Israeli corporation
There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

An Arkansas corporation
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.


"On hyviä vuosia, kauniita muistoja, mutta kuitenkaan, en saata unohtaa,
Että koskaan en ole yksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Vaikka myrsky hetkeksi tyyntyykin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Ja pian taas uusin hönkäyksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Hei tuu mun luo, pieneksi hetkeksi. Puhutaan, varjoni, valkoiseksi enkeliksi."

Pelle Miljoona - Varjo seuraa onneain

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post #2 of 9 Old 04-16-2009, 11:03 AM
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hahahah...very amusing.
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post #3 of 9 Old 04-19-2009, 10:06 AM
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LOL, very good

A good cowboy always has a better horse at the end of the ride, a poor cowboy will be afoot reguardless of the horse.

Mis Raices Estan Aqui (my roots are buried here)
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post #4 of 9 Old 04-19-2009, 08:06 PM
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TaMMa, You have been hanging with americians to much and are
acurring our sense of humor. LOL>>>>>

I am concerned for the security of our great Nation; not so much because of any threat from without, but because of the insidious forces working from within. Douglas MacArthur
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post #5 of 9 Old 04-20-2009, 10:40 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RegalCharm View Post
TaMMa, You have been hanging with americians to much and are
acurring our sense of humor. LOL>>>>>
No no, I haven't written this one myself . I found a website which includes a lot of jokes like this and thought that was a fun one, copyed and posted it here. (Didn't post the website here because there's also a lot of raunchy jokes there and I know there are also very young peole on that forum).

Even if you've a great country and you're a great folk, I haven't lost my Finnish identity .


"On hyviä vuosia, kauniita muistoja, mutta kuitenkaan, en saata unohtaa,
Että koskaan en ole yksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Vaikka myrsky hetkeksi tyyntyykin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Ja pian taas uusin hönkäyksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Hei tuu mun luo, pieneksi hetkeksi. Puhutaan, varjoni, valkoiseksi enkeliksi."

Pelle Miljoona - Varjo seuraa onneain

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post #6 of 9 Old 04-23-2009, 12:13 AM
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Australian Democracy...or beauracy...hmmm not sure.......
You have 200,000 head of cattle but loose 400 in a drought, 600 in the ensuing floods, 20 blew away in a cyclone, you ate 10 of them and the rest are looking kind of skinny. Then you get a bush fire and loose all but three who were in the middle of the herd. Then you try to sell those three to Woolworths who pay 30cents a kilo and sell a rump steak for $50 a kilo.

The Orbs: The Dark Assassin. Read and comment or I eat your nose....just kidding.....sorta....not really......
[http://www.horseforum.com/hobbies/or...58/#post747263
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post #7 of 9 Old 04-23-2009, 03:29 PM Thread Starter
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Ahh, that sounds so sad, Kiki .

Our (and most of other Scandinavian countries) "cows" reminds a lot of that section called Democracy, American style.


"On hyviä vuosia, kauniita muistoja, mutta kuitenkaan, en saata unohtaa,
Että koskaan en ole yksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Vaikka myrsky hetkeksi tyyntyykin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Ja pian taas uusin hönkäyksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Hei tuu mun luo, pieneksi hetkeksi. Puhutaan, varjoni, valkoiseksi enkeliksi."

Pelle Miljoona - Varjo seuraa onneain


Last edited by TaMMa89; 04-23-2009 at 03:33 PM.
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post #8 of 9 Old 05-07-2009, 12:38 AM
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lmfao i like the russian corp. and the arkansas corp. ones hehe they was funny
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post #9 of 9 Old 05-13-2009, 03:37 AM
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I know its sad but true. The amount Woolworths and other chains but beef at and then sell it is easily 300% more

The Orbs: The Dark Assassin. Read and comment or I eat your nose....just kidding.....sorta....not really......
[http://www.horseforum.com/hobbies/or...58/#post747263
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